Marriage Music Monday


It can happen in marriage, especially if you feel your marriage is not where it should be. It started for me this week when PG angered me by revealing that my name wasn’t going to be next to the definition of disciplinarian. Even though that may be true, you want to have a sense that you can still have fun with your kids and they will still snap in line in an instance. So that through me for a loop a bit.

The week ended with a revelation that deep down my wife’s felt I resented her tell it like it is, take the ball and run with it, straightforward style. Needless to say, I knew it wasn’t true, but it began to question where would I be if I hadn’t got married?

When marriages get stressful, certain questions may come to mind.

Why in the hell did I marry him/her?

Who am I?

You may ask yourself did I compromise who I am as a man/woman to be with my spouse? Do I love myself and love them for who they are?

Here are some thoughts that may help you get through the process.

It’s understandable to question. – Especially earlier on in the marriage if things begin on the rocky side. Look beyond the external reasons why you did get married and start to look at what values and characteristics your partner has that drew you to him/her. It’s those values that ultimately help draw you to them. Consciously or not, those values that your spouse has should help you feel comfortable enough to live by the values you possess.

Challenges in your marriage may help you define how you don’t want it to be. So challenges are necessary in order for you to learn.

Instead of looking at the situation as negative, turn it into a positive. This will help empower you and your spouse to examine where and how you grow from here and then you can release the negativity.

These positive thoughts can help give you a perspective on why you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

  • Either of you are the spoke, or a group of spokes, you are both the wheel – in challenging times you may choose to isolate each other and you may even feel alone. In reality you are inter-connected. When you hurt, your spouse hurts too.
  • Your marriage has a special purpose. – We never think about how your union may help someone else believe marriage is possible. So stick with it.
  • Marriage is an adventure. – It would be great to thing, If I only knew this was going to happen, I could have averted the outcome. If we truly knew the outcome, our mystery of life would be lost.
  • Our Marriage must grow or it will die. – Growth takes on many forms..if we don’t it becomes stagnated.
  • We each have a Higher Coach. – In the end, sometimes there is no explanation that can be explained naturally. You may have to tap into God, or your spiritual self to help guide the reasons why you are in this position, or why you are married to him/her. You will ultimately get your answer.

In the end as I thought about the reasons behind our conflict this past week. It really didn’t matter because in the end, as the song softly echoes in the end. I recognize the blessing that I have. I am carefully holding on tight because there are  a lot of things and circumstances out there that can trip you up, if you let it. Or you can use those challenges to help you be better, live better. I know I am a STRIVER.  I hope you can agree with me, HOLD on.

Good Night Strivers!

Coach Keith

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Keith has over a decade of experience in the field, counseling and coaching individuals, couples, teens and their parents to help them improve their relationships and their ability to achieve their personal goals. For the past seven years Keith has developed specific programs to help teens and their families achieve success in all facets of their lives that may have eluded them in the past. Academics, relationships, athletics, college preparation and applications, goal setting and developing specific plans are areas where working with Keith as a Coach can help young people set the patterns that promise a brilliant future. He works with couples to help them achieve the kind of relationship they envisioned when they first made their commitment to each other. Strengthening communication and revitalizing their understanding and empathy for each other helps couples regain the romance and closeness they long for – even in their everyday “real” world. Having a coach is like having a GPS for life. Keith can help you get a realistic picture of where you are and focus on the best path forward toward your goals. Unlike counseling, coaching focuses on the future, not the past.

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