Marriage Madness – iLoveStrong

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Your husband has feelings too!

Last week there was an interesting article I read, 15 Things A Wife is Embarrassed to tell my Husband I need.

What struck me was her candor and how hard it was to find the same type of emotions from men.

But we do!

Maybe that’s one of the problems in relationships. We just expect husbands to never have issues. Since we never discuss them openly, our wives often scratch their heads when we run away from them and share our problems with a stranger.

Well I wanted to shed light on some of the issues that husbands might have so they can be discussed.

Click here to read what some of them might be.

Has your husband had any of these issues? How did you go about talking about them.

Simply Titled ‘Robin’ – 14 Reasons why Paula Patton is not ready to reconcile!

If you haven’t notice, Robin Thicke has been pulling out all the stops to get his estranged wife Paula Patton back into his life. Since he has an award winning singer-songwriter, he has tried the only way he feels can get her back. By writing 14 new songs and aptly naming the title of his new album ‘Paula’.

The public hasn’t completely caught to his new album, selling only 2,400 new copies and debuting at #9 on the billboard chart. The one person that really hasn’t embraced the outward displays of remorse is Paula Patton herself.

In a shocking revelation, Paula Patton herself has created an album simply titled ‘Robin’. Since she isn’t a trained singer, or a songwriter, she has created 14 cover tunes on why she is having problem taking him back.

1. All I Cried out (Jill Scott)

Never wanted to see things my way

Tell me why were you such a fool

Always thought the grass was greener on the other side

Never miss your water till your well run dry

And now, now I’m I’m sad and so confused

‘Cause I’m all cried out, oh yeah yeah

2. You’re not the Man (Sade)

You’re not the man who threw me a lifeline

And you’re not the man I am so proud to call mine

And you’re not the one who said he’d never leave

The one who made me believe in me

That was someone who could do no wrong and you lost him

3. Living in Confusion (Phyllis Hyman)

I had faith in you

Just knew you wouldn’t hurt me

But you played a game

You should be ashamed

I let my guard down

I was so vulnerable

I hope you had your fun

Don’t you know I was loyal to you?

4. Love Don’t Live Here Anymore (Rose Royce)

When you lived inside of me; there was nothing I could conceive

That you wouldn’t do for me

Trouble seemed so far away; you changed that right away, baby

You abandoned me

Love don’t live here anymore

Just a vacancy

Love don’t live here anymore

5. Black Cat (Janet Jackson)

You’re so together boy; but just at a glance

You’ll do anything; if given a chance

Scheming, plannin lies; to get what you need

So full of promises; that you never keep

Don’t you tell yourself; that it’s okay

Sick and tired of; All of your games

And you want me to stay; better change

Makes no sense to me; your crazy ways

6. The Love we have stays on my mind (Joss Stone)

And lately girl, I’ve been remembering

The good times that we used to share

My thoughts of you don’t have an ending

And memories of you are everywhere

But why should I tell you, it’s not your concern

You win some, you lose some

Well I’ve lost and I’ve learned

It’s just that I’m so lonely

With no place to turn

And here at the end, I find

Yes I do

7. Don’t Take me for Granted (Atlantic Starr)

I’ll be the fountain that fills you up but just..

Don’t take me for granted

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Make time for love and so will I

I really wanna make this work

I wanna see it through

Forget me not, or I’ll say goodbye

8. Teach U a Lesson (Robin Thicke)

Uve been a bad boy

Someone’s gonna have 2 teach u a lesson

Uve been a bad boy

Someones gonna have 2 straighten u right out

Uve been a bad boy

Someone’s gonna have 2 teach u

Teach u teach u teach u

9. Could have been you (Joss Stone)

There’s no gain; only pain

My heart can’t take the strain

I can’t sit; on the shelf

I’ll give my love to someone else

If you see me walking by

Hand-in-hand with another guy

Know that it’s true

It could have been you

If you’d only treated me right

Out of sight, baby out of mind

That’s what you do

It could have been you

10. Good Times (The Jacksons)

I think about the good times

Nothing but the good times

I think about the good times

We shared together

It’s funny things don’t always

Go the way you want them to

Although we’re not together

(Although we’re not together)

I treasure my experience with you

11. I forgive you (Rachelle Farrell)

It doesn’t really matter whether or not I understand

It doesn’t really matter whether or not you’re still my man

I still love you… and

I forgive you

Totally completely now

What a freedom just releasing from my heart

From my mind and soul!

12. I will always love you (Whitney Houston)

I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of

And I wish you joy and happiness

But above all this I wish you love

And I… will always love you

13. Irreplaceable (Beyonce)

So since I’m not your everything (irreplaceable)

How about I’ll be nothing (nothing)? Nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)

Baby I won’t shed a tear for you (I won’t shed a tear for you)

I won’t lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)

‘Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)

Replacing you is so easy

14. Blame it on Me (Chrisette Michelle)

Yes I love you but I really got to lose you

Freedom is where I want to be

Yes I’ll probably always love you

But I’m moving

I got to do this for me

iLoveStrong’s Top Super Bowl Commercials 2014

The Super Bowl Commercials this year were very similar to the game. Very boring. Who knew that you could have so many car commercials jammed into one football game. Since Strive 2 Succeed in Marriage & Coach Keith love sports and relationships, , we were able to find some great one’s that focused on Love, just like last year’s post. Here they are!

Honorable Mention – Bad Prom Night (Turbo Tax)- Because I had one of these, my junior year.

# 5 – The Stud Cow – You know I have to throw the one sexually explicit commercial in there. Since it’s all about relationships.

#4 – Puppy Love – I loved this commercial because sometimes even though we may seem incompatible to other people, we can’t help who are friends are, or who we Love.

#3 – Make Love not War (Axe Commercial) – This was good because, you weren’t expecting the outcome. Sometime’s that is how love is. It’s not always nice and neat.

#2 – Cheerios – This commercial was fantastic because it had a gamut of emotions. I was glad they did another commercial especially since the first commercial that introduced this family had so many haters. It was great to see the love of this interracial couple and the love between father and daughter.

#1 – Tuesday is World Cancer Day – With no words being said, this was clearly my favorite commercial. As the husband was driving miles to take his wife to her cancer treatment. That’s pure love right there. Don’t Leave, that’s what you asked of me! Priceless.

Which ads spoke to you tonight when it comes to LOVE? Discuss!

iLoveStrong’s Top Super Bowl Commercials

Here are the top 5 iLoveStrong Commercials that I liked during the Super Bowl.

1. Dodge Ram – God made a Farmer. This commercial represents everything iLoveStrong is all about.

2. Clydesdales Brotherhood: Budweiser – iLoveStrong liked the connection between breeder and horse.

3. Doritos – Fashionista Daddy – iLoveStrong loves Dads that play with their daughters, even if it’s for some chips.

4. Audi – Prom. iLoveStrong loves when you just go for it. It reminded me of my Junior Prom. My dad should have given me an Audi..I might have kissed the girl I wanted to.

5. Volkswagon – Get In, Get Happy – iLoveStrong believes in having fun, not taking yourself seriously and living in the moment.

Honorable Mention:

Taco Bell – Viva Young. – iLoveStrong loved this commercial. It was just plain funny.

What was your favorite Super Bowl commercial?

Marriage Question of the Day

Here is the Marriage Question of the Day. Has the book ’50 Shades of Grey’, or any other erotic material changed the ways you view sex and expressing your sexuality when it comes to your spouse?

If you were interested in exploring your sexuality in your marriage, how would you approach it with your spouse?

I look forward to hearing your responses!

Coach Keith

Maintaining your Relationship is a lot like selling your house!

PG and I and the rest of the fam are trying to move. Our quaint, two-bedroom house in Northern NJ has become quite small for our family of 5 plus a dog and several tropical fish. We were ready to take the leap in 2008, but it was a blessing we stayed put. It was right before the financial crisis and it might have altered our lives forever.

Another reason we hadn’t lef is because all the work you have to put in to get a house ready to sell. It’s a lot like maintaining a healthy marriage.

Step #1 – Look for all the trouble spots.

When you decide you are going to allow other people to view your home, you must determine the little things that might deter a person from buying it. A broken light fixture, or bad lighting just might be the difference from someone liking your house. Your relationship is the same way. If you don’t step back and think about your appearance and how you present yourself to your spouse and communicate it may hold them back from experiencing true intimacy.

Step #2 – If you are committed, put the work in.

Put the work in and spruce it up. You can do simple things like changing the bedding, getting new curtains, and shower accessories to give your house a fresh new look. Relationships are no different. Sometimes you have to switch things up, in order to make it fresh. Things like going on a adventure, or to a different restaurant may go a long way to help foster a stronger relationship.

Step #3 – If things are really bad, bring in the contractor.

Sometimes the simple things aren’t enough, there are changes that need to be made that you can’t do by yourself. If you are still trying to maintain your daily routine of running a family and working, you can’t always take a step back and do the work necessary to make those changes. We needed a contractor. Relationships are no different. Relationships can be so bad, you may have to bring in a coach to strip away the bitterness, apathy and heartache that’s causing this relationship to not be at it’s best. He/she can help you put on a fresh coat of love, affection, communication and understanding toward your partner.

Step #4 – Maintenance, Maintenance and more Maintenance!

This is the hardest job of all. You never know when someone is going to want to see your house. So every morning your house has to look presentable. In relationships, you have to constantly check in with your partner and not take things for granted. I know stepping out of your comfort zone to get an assessment of your marriage can be a little unsettling. Don’t be afraid! You never know when something unexpected happens to change the course of your relationship. By having a strong bond with one another, you can weather those unforeseen circumstances.

Step #5 – Stay positive! It only takes one!

Despite all the progress and the work we have put in, it may take awhile to get an offer. We plan to stay positive and you should too. Your relationship may also progress slowly. Stay encouraged. As long as you are following the steps, the changes will come and your relationship will be stronger than ever before.

Strivers! Make it a great week.

I will keep you posted on the house.

Coach Keith

What would I tell Will & Kate? – Your Marriage will not be like your Parents.

If you haven’t watched any TV or read any newspapers, you might not realize that Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married this Friday. This wedding has created a lot of hoopla and fanfare as England and the world prepare for this event.

Even though this event has already been highly publicized, this is only the beginning of the type of media coverage they will receive during their marriage journey. Prior to the wedding the couple has also been receiving pre-marital coaching inorder to help them navigate through all of the challenges they may face.

As a relationship coach, if given the opportunity there are 5 important topics I would discuss with them prior to the wedding . Today’s topic would be YOUR MARRIAGE WILL NOT BE LIKE YOUR PARENTS.

Kate & William should realize very early that their relationship will be different from their parents. Kate’s was a product of a wonderful marriage where her parents worked together, so they had an opportunity to share their love of the airlines and later build their own business, while in William’s case, he had to live through the trials and tribulations of a high profile divorce. So both of them enter the marriage with different perspectives. So I would start out our session with these questions.

What does this marriage mean to you? – It would be very important for the each of them to define why they want to get married and what expectations they have from one another.

If you had to create by-laws for your marriage, what would they be? – It would include things like:

How you will do with conflict?
What topics are off limits to the media?
How you will address communication issues?
How you handle past friendships?

What family traditions will you bring from each of your families? What new one’s will you create? – Because William is from royalty, there will be many traditions that they will have to uphold in their marriage. On the other side, because Kate didn’t come from that lifestyle their maybe some traditions that are important to her. It would be imperative to bring in some her traditions in order to have a voice. It will also be important for the both of them to establish their own.

What steps will you take to maintain Spritual, Social, Physical and Emotional Balance individually and together? – Kate has only received a taste of the media attention that she has received. Like THE POLICE so eloquently state in their 80’s hit “Every step you Take” her moves will be scrutinized to the highest degree because she is the Princess. It will be very easy for both of them to lose their balance with all the social engagements they will expected to attend in the next few months. Establish some boundaries and find a special, secretive space where they can just be.

Now that I have got Kate and Will’s juices flowing. We will go a little deeper tomorrow when we talk about how they maintain their individual identity!

Coach Keith – Strive 2 Succeed Coaching Services

If you know the SCORE, you belong!

The NCAA tournament is truly great event, but it’s very harsh. You win or go home. For the past 6 days, you’ve had upsets, last second buzzer beaters and the elite teams exerting their will on the less talented teams. The greatest thing about the tournament is when a cinderalla team gets an opportunity to play into the next weekend. This year’s team is Virginia Commonwealth (VCU). Before the tournament began they were considered barely worthy to be in the tournament over some bigger basketball powers like Virginia Tech and the University of Colorado. They quickly dismantled that myth by being the only team to win 3 games this week rather easily beating USC, my alma mater Georgetown and Purdue.

What made it so special? They believed they could score against those Big 3!

As I stated, this tournament can be harsh, especially if you lose. Our finances can also be harsh. How many of us have been turned down for a credit card, or loan that would have helped us become more independent. Did you know the score, the FICO score that is.

The Fair Isaac Company developed custom software back in the 1980s that helped other companies determine a credit risk based on a number derived from a person’s credit history. This number soon became a standard that was adopted by the three main credit bureaus: Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax. The FICO score ranges between 300 and 850.

Credit Score vs. Credit Report

A credit score and a credit report are two different things, although the credit score ultimately depends on your credit report. Your credit report is simply a detailed account of your credit history. The report will contain information such as:

•Current credit accounts

•Payment history

•Credit inquiries

•Credit utilization

•Bankruptcy

Your credit report itself does not have a FICO number. It is simply a report of your current and past credit history. Most credit history will only go back seven years, although a bankruptcy will stay on your report for ten years. You’re entitled to a free credit report each year and it’s always a good idea to check it annually to make sure it’s correct. Here’s how to get your free credit report.

A FICO credit score is based off of your credit history, but it’s not actually a part of your credit report. Instead, the three major credit bureaus will calculate your FICO based on your credit history they have on file. This means you can have up to three different FICO scores at one time. Your FICO score does not come with your credit report and it isn’t something you’re entitled to annually. You may have to pay a fee to actually receive your score.

What Makes Up a Credit Score

A credit score takes into account a lot of different information from your credit report, but it’s not all treated equally. Some aspects of your credit history are more important than others and will weigh more heavily on your overall score. Your FICO score is essentially made up of the following:

•Payment History – 35%

•Total Amounts Owed – 30%

•Length of Credit History – 15%

•New Credit – 10%

•Type of Credit in Use – 10%

As you can see, the bulk of your credit score comes from your payment history and how much debt you actually have. Those two items account for 65% of your score. So, if you’re really looking to improve your credit score, these are the areas you’ll want to tackle first.

Why Your FICO Credit Score is Important

We’ve determined what makes up a credit score, but why is it so important? Your credit score will follow you for your entire life and if you are ever trying to borrow money, the lender is going to look at your credit score to determine whether or not to lend money to you. Need to buy a car? They will check your credit score. Looking for a mortgage? You can bet they are checking your credit score. In fact, even some employers are checking credit scores when hiring to possibly determine who would make a good employee.

Not only does your credit score determine whether or not you’ll receive financing, it also determines how much it will cost you to borrow that money. People with higher credit scores are deemed to be less of a risk and therefore will typically receive the lowest interest rates. Those with lower scores are viewed as more of a risk so the bank will offset that risk by lending you money at a higher interest rate. And when you’re talking about larger loans such as buying a vehicle or a home, just an extra interest rate point could add up to thousands, and even tens of thousands of dollars wasted on interest.

Improving Your Credit Score

What happens if you have made some mistakes in the past and now your credit score is low? Don’t worry. The good news is that your credit score is constantly updating, so every month as you begin to make improvements to your credit history, your score will be sure to follow. But keep in mind that items on your report will stay there for seven years, so it will take some time for serious negative marks to eventually disappear completely.

Thankfully, there are a number of things you can do to improve your credit score. Start with the basics and make sure you’re making all of your payments on time. Remember, payment history is the single greatest factor in your credit score. If you make payments over time, you’ll slowly start to raise that score. Second, reduce your total amount of debt. The second largest impact on your score is how much debt you have, so if you can put a dent in your overall debt you’ll also begin to make some serious headway.

Time to lace up the sneakers. We have a game to play!

Yesterday was a tough day for Louisville and St. John’s who lost their tournament games yesterday. Both had aspirations of going far, but didn’t get it done.

Long Island University which is playing in the tournament for the first time in 14 years is really hyped about their game today against North Carolina. As LIU’s players sit in their lockers before the game may look back and reflect on how they got here in the first place. On the road to success there were many people that sacrificed and provided skills that helped them get here.

When it comes to our finances, we were also provided information that gave us our view on how we handle money. Whether it was stated or hidden, our environment shape our view of finances. Taking that all into account we may be hesitant to be transparent, and share our lack of knowledge about finances in fear it will hurt the team. That’s ok, our partner probably feels the same way. If we play our game, and do our best we have a chance to win.

Here are some questions that will help reveal our issues individually that will help us begin to strengthen our team financially.

Step 1. What messages about money did you receive from childhood? Examine these 5 questions.

Who in your family had the power and control of the situation when it came you money?
What type of fun and happiness came as a result to how money was used in your home?
How did your parents talk about money with themselves?
What was the relationship between success and money in my childhood home?
What were the differences between how your mom and dad handled money?

Step 2. We will look at your individual world view in regards to money and how that shapes your handling of money.

How do my friends, my family and surroundings affect my relationship with money?
How do advertisements, mass media, affect my relationship with money?
What does society tell me about my obligations with money?
What’s the first thing I notice when I see my friends or family?
What would my two best friends tell me is the most important thing about money? What are their relationships with money, like?

Step 3. We will look now at the family voice? Once you have kids, or if you have kids now, the money pressure increases two-fold. So let’s examine these questions?

What does my mate or spouse need financially to have his or her basic needs met?
What do my children need financially to have their basic needs met?
Why does my mate want what she wants? Is it based on family, society, or general desire?
Why do my children want what they want? Is it because of their friends, mass media, or family non-verbal cues? (Only answer if you currently have children)

Take your time, concentrate and be honest. This exercise will go a long way to unlocking your thoughts about money, and how working together as a team will put you in a position of strength.

Time to lace up the Sneakers.WE HAVE A GAME TO PLAY!

Coach Keith