Ladies! Has your frustration returned now that Valentine’s Day is over and your husband is back to chillin’ on the couch watching countless hours of sports.
Do you ever wonder what is it about sports that men love so much? If you are still befuddled by this question the next time you get in your car and go to the store, turn on your local sports radio station. You will hear grown men so excited and passionate about getting their point across about a sports moment that happened days before sometimes even years. These men will wait up to 30 minutes to make sure they do so.
Men love sports because it’s fun, spontaneous, thrilling and exciting. Isn’t that how you want your marriages to be? Often times it’s the opposite, boring, and predictable.
So what do you have to do to win at the Game of Love? Here is a 6-step game plan to get your marriage back on track.
- Have a powerful slogan
Every season, teams that excel have powerful slogans to remind them of the goal of winning. In 2017, the Cleveland Cavaliers slogan for the playoffs was “Defend the Land”. So as a family you should come up with a slogan that defines who you are as a family and reminds each other why you are commitment.
- Constantly reminding him his importance on the team.
On any given team, there players that don’t get a lot of credit, but are the essential to winning and losing. Your husband may be that guy. He may not be overly flashy, or the life of the party. He just gets the job done. You should remind him that his role is valuable and vital to your success as a couple.
- To stay at the top takes work.
Your wedding with all the pomp and circumstance is like the ultimate championship game. Staying on top takes work, so you must challenge him not to get complacent. Treat your time together like practice where you learn new things about each other and make it routine.
- Know when to call a time-out?
In any given game, you can feel the momentum shift to the other side. The coach will call a time-out in order for the team to rest, re-group and reassess the game plan. You should do that in your marriage, especially if you feel the momentum shifting and it’s inevitable that they will. If you see your husband starts to become disengaged, no energy or just plain angry, or you aren’t happy. Don’t be afraid to call a time-out. If you let things go, you may lose.
- Treat sex like a game.
Sex to a man is like a conquest. Treat it like one. In the bedroom, men feel great when you enjoy sex just as much as he does. It makes him feel accomplished. Overtime it gets harder and harder to set aside to enjoy this part of marriage. Do things like trash-talking (i.e. flirting), putting on your best outfit and creating a build-up to the main event.
- Treat the kids like the rookies.
Your kids are just like tiny adults. They are going to need to understand the family slogan in order to thrive and excel. As co-captain of the team it’s the responsibility of both of you to give them the tools they will need to be successful. Make sure you challenge them, give them a voice and most of all have fun.
Working as a team is never easy. It takes commitment to a desired goal, discipline, motivation, trust and a few lucky bounces of the ball. By treating your marriage more like a game, your husband can truly understand the importance of his role and will work to win.
Keith Dent is a relationship, life coach at www.strive2succeedcoaching.com . He has appeared on sites like The Good Men Project, MamMia and The Real Dad’s Network and is the author of the In The Paint – How to Win at the Game of Love.