Often times, we don’t set expectations for our partner. We take it for granted they want to be in our relationship.
What’s wrong with expectations? Expectations allow your partner to rise to the standards that are acceptable to you.
If you want your relationship to grow this is how expectations can help.
Expectations remove comfort.
You get comfortable in a relationship for a couple of reasons. You either take your partner for granted, or you have fear.
How do you take your partner for granted.
- You stop planning time to go out with each other.
- You no longer feel your appearance is important.
- You communicate via text, or phone instead of carving out time to talk face to face.
Why are we fearful?
- We are afraid to fail.
- We are afraid of conflict or we are plagued by paralysis.
Expectations help you see your blind spots.
Sometimes change in our attitude, drive and appearance happen slowly in our eyes, but our partners see it immediately. Why? Because we have blind spots! By setting expectations you can make that attempt to deal with those blind spots.
When you both set expectation to grow as individuals you will grow as lovers. You can increase your ability to feel, understand and empathize with your partner when you attempt to grow all 5 of your dimensions: physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually and emotionally, And that directly increases your connection.
So where do you start?
Step outside your comfortable place.
Understand that in order for both of you to grow you will have to visit unexplored areas of your life. Seek feedback from your partner in areas of growth that have been undeveloped and ways each other can become connected.
Work as a team
In order to become a well oiled team, there are times where you will have to encourage, instead of discourage. Be a partner instead of a leader.
In the end, you just want your partner to be all in.
Coach Keith works with couples to help them achieve the kind of relationship they envisioned when they first made their commitment to each other. Working with Coach Keith is like having a GPS for relationship. Keith can help you get a realistic picture of where you are and focus on the best path forward toward your goals. Unlike counseling, coaching focuses on the future, not the past.