After reading my last blog on trust, you might have realized that your relationship is suffering in this area.
How would you know that:
- There is no feeling of risk as a partner! No risk, No trust.
- You don’t accept and cultivate your partner’s vulnerability!
- You don’t take your partner’s investment seriously!
If your relationship has been operating under these conditions, DON’T GIVE UP! It’s easy to throw all that you have worked for away. Trust can be renewed with these 6 repairs.
- If you get a sense that you have violated your partner’s trust, bring it out in the open. Acknowledgement is the first step to healing. If you remain silent you will further erode any possibility of a strong relationship. If you need support, or you need someone to help you create a plan contact a counselor or a relationship coach.
- Trust the violation and the repair very seriously. Building trust will take work. You will have to do more work and go a little overboard to gain her trust back.
- If you partner has violated your trust, don’t let them off the hook. If your trust was violated, let them know it. You self-esteem is just as vital to a strong relationship. If you never get to the point of comfort-ability, you will never feel restored in your marriage.
- Don’t become a martyr;it’s not about you, it’s about your partner. When the truth comes out that you have violated his/her trust, don’t even utter, “I’m such a horrible person, why did you even marry me? I knew I would mess up.” These phrases will turn your partner’s anger meter up a hundredfold because you are looking for forgiveness when it’s not warranted.
- Make the changes and commit to them. Come up with a mutual plan that will help repair the trust and commit to it. Remember, some of the things your partner wants you to do may seem ridiculous to you, but it’s not about you. For instance:
- Making sure you can be reached by cell and text. Let your partner know where you are going and who you are with.
- Giving control and access to your finances including your paycheck.
- Discussing any major decisions you need to make before you make them.
- Getting help for an addiction.
- Rebuilding trust has no timetable. It will take time to rebuild, but it can only be done if the partner that is violated can truly forgive and begin to take the risk again.
STRIVERS, continue to work to build and maintain a strong relationship. Our family and friends need it.