When it comes to transferring your relationship from sex partner to marriage material and a potential partner for life, you will have to dive deep and see if this man has the ability to be your future husband. Even though sex is usually the initial place where a man begins to connect with a woman, the both of you will have to make sure it’s deeper than the surface.
You will have to connect mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
Now that 2020 has come to a close, I’m sure folks are ready to turn the page a move into 2021.
Resolutions are great because they gives you a chance to clear your mind, reflect on what’s important to you, and move in a positive direction, provide concrete goals that can give you focus and stability, and show others that you are striving towards your dreams. In fact, 74% of Americans say they’re determined to learn something new, make a lifestyle change or set a personal goal in an effort to better themselves in 2021. You can’t imagine the number of people that will be positively impacted!
When we think about resolutions, we usually think of individual goals we want to achieve for ourselves, like losing weight, getting a new job, or saving more money.
But my advice is that many relationships would improve if partners create New Year’s resolutions together as a couple.
Why is that important?
It means you will have a built-in accountability partner. Remember one of the famous acronyms for team is “Together Each Achieves More.” This will ensure that you and your partner stay committed to the resolutions you create.
You can also have fun with it by making it a date night activity and continuing to do so throughout the year as the two of you check-in with each other to see how your resolutions are going.
Finally, this provides an opportunity to celebrate your successes together. Being intentional about improving your lives will automatically improve your relationship or marriage.
To help you start your own resolution list, here are my 15 best ideas for New Year’s resolutions couples can make as a team.
1. Take a look back at the past year together.
By focusing on what happened the past year, you more than likely would have forgotten the little squabbles that impacted your marriage at the moment.
Looking back on the fond memories of the past year will help you look forward optimistically to the year ahead.
2. Create a nutrition plan together.
It’s hard for an individual to stick to eating healthy when the other isn’t.
Creating a healthy eating plan together with exercise can not only help you lose weight, but you will also have more energy to do fun things together.
3. Set aside time on a daily or weekly basis to check in with each other.
Since communication can be the biggest challenge to a healthy marriage or relationship, it’s imperative that you carve out space to check in with each other.
This shouldn’t be the where you just check-in to talk about your resolutions, but talk about life in general.
4. Create a family mission statement.
This statement allows the two of you, as well as your children, to feel a sense of unity and purpose.
It lets each member know that everyone is truly committed to each other’s success and growth.
5. Pay off a credit card.
It’s no secret that finances can be a source of stress and worry among couples.
Creating a strict budget or using the snowball method to pay down debt can make you generally happier.
6. When it comes to sex, explore how you can be more creative.
If you have been married for a while making sex a priority can be challenging.
By infusing a little more creativity and fun in your sex life will all of a sudden make it a must thing to do for your marriage to thrive.
7. Read and discuss a helpful book about relationships and/or marriage.
Sometimes it’s hard to articulate the things you want out of marriage.
Having a book discussion about marriage can really get to the heart of the matter without trying to figure things out on your own.
8. Take turns choosing a new activity to try together each month.
This does a couple of things.
First, you get a chance to have a new experience as a couple every month. If nothing else, this means you will have 12 new stories to tell by the end of the year.
Second, by alternating who chooses the month’s activity, you will have to keep your partner in mind because you will want them to enjoy the event as much as you will.
9. Create a proactive plan for handling conflict.
As you are working to achieve your goals, you can’t expect every day to be sunny and rosy.
If you have avoided conflicts in the past, make plan figure out how to resolve them by remaining respectful.
10. Schedule your annual doctor’s appointments.
If you have your health, you have everything.
11. Choose a cause to volunteer for together.
This is a great way to live out your values and have a wonderful bonding experience at the same time.
You can get a fresh perspective on your life as husband and wife when you are supporting an organization or a cause that really needs it.
12. Plan to host a dinner party for other couples.
There is strength in numbers.
Hosting a dinner party allows you to talk about marriage in a fun and silly way and helps you understand that you’re not alone. Remember, social-distancing is still in affect.
13. Set a goal with your children.
Creating a family goal will not only teach your children how to set goals for themselves, it will create a strong bond with your children as a family unit.
14. Schedule some time for yourselves.
Even with all of these mutual goals the two of you are working on, you must still leave some time for each of you to take for yourselves.
You will value each other more as a couple when you make the space and room to develop as individuals.
15. Plan a celebration.
If you can make and achieve at least 80% of these resolutions by the end of the year, 2020 will be awesome. Celebrate your growth as a couple.
Happy New Year!
Keith Dent is a certified coach and author of “In the Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love.” If you are struggling to communicate more effectively with your partner and set future goals, contact him via email to learn more about how he can help.
It’s exciting to find a man who’s ready to stop playing dating games and start focusing on what one woman — you — have to offer in relationships, but before you even consider committing to him as “boyfriend and girlfriend”, let alone think seriously about getting married and making him your husband, it’s critical to know which personality traits to look for as signs that he will actually be a good boyfriend (and, potentially, a good husband).
This means it’s time to get to know and understand the aspects of his character and personality, and in doing so, you’ll strengthen the relationship you’ve begun even more.
To understand the 10 Personality Traits your future boyfriend needs click here.
Keith Dent is a relationship and life coach, as well as the author of the “In The Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love.” His work has appeared on sites like The Good Men Project, MamaMia, and The Real Dad’s Network. If you are having issues figuring out which personality traits you need in a man, give him a shout via email.
You’ve been dating for what feels like forever, and at long last, you feel positive you’ve met “the one” — that perfect person you’ve been waiting to fall in love with for so long.
What makes it especially exciting is that the feeling is obviously mutual. They’ve been showering you with the gifts, affection, and love you’ve craved, and which you’d almost given up hope of ever finding.
Unfortunately, your friends aren’t so sure about your new relationship.
They may feel your new partner is really manipulating you and you don’t even know it. To see the 9 signs you are being emotionally manipulated, click here.
When a COVID Vaccine is finally found, how will it impact the world of relationships, dating, and Sex?
Will we go back to the invisible labor that women have had to do for so long behind the scenes that have been totally brought into the open for many families during this pandemic?
Will couples no longer rush to cohabitate, because the ability to experiment and form relationships has been severely curtailed?
Will Zoom dating and Zoom sex become the norm?
All important things to think about as cases begin to rise as the pandemic lingers.
What do you think?
Keith Dent is a certified relationship coach and the author of In The Paint – How to Win at the Game of Love. If you like leave a comment, or reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org if you are having challenges in your relationship and dating life.
A Growth-focused relationships are all about encouraging each other’s challenges and dreams. With that said, how are you inspiring your partner to take on a new professional or personal goal? In what area does your partner have room to grow?
There is a shift going on in marriage today. The rise of the beta husband. As a man, I know you might not have expected to be in this distinct group, but let me help you understand you aren’t alone.
The last study done in 2013 by the Institute of Family Studies showed that among married, heterosexual couples in the U.S., a quarter of wives, or about 15 million, are the primary breadwinners in their family.
There are many challenges that can come with this marriage dynamic. For one, we as men are taught to hang our badge based on what we do in life, not on what we do at home, as well as women who don’t usually get rewarded from bringing home the bacon. In our society, it’s the exact opposite.
Another issue is the assumption that the other partner may have a better situation. The husband may think his wife is going out enjoying lunch and happy hours with fellow co-workers, but not see the stress getting those same co-workers to take her leadership seriously. The woman may feel he’s just hanging out after he drops off the children, but in reality, he is struggling with his self-esteem and identity.
One thing we do know, this new dynamic isn’t going away. As women are given more opportunities to excel corporately and as entrepreneurs, husbands, if you have the ability to stay home, or take a lesser role at work for the benefit of the family, you will have to identify the best way to excel individually and in the marriage.
If you are having a hard time figuring it out, here is a Ten-Step Beta Husband’s Guide to loving a Type-A wife.
Identify your comfortability with your role reversal. I’m sure when you got married, you didn’t expect that you would be scheduling playdates and managing the home. If you don’t like it, or if you are struggling, then be honest. Tell your wife, but even more importantly you will have to come up with a plan. If you don’t you will be stuck in an untenable situation.
If you are comfortable with the way the relationship is going, find something you are passionate about and pursue it while managing your other duties. Your alpha wife doesn’t care so much that you aren’t the primary breadwinner. What she does care about is that you’re actively doing something to make you strive to be the best person you can be.
Make sure the relationship doesn’t become parental.If you hear phrases like, “You’re like my 3rd child!” or “Do I have to ask you again, Can you please…” then sit your wife down and ask her, “Do you feel like you’re my parent?” If she says, “Yes, sometimes,” then it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship because if she feels this way then you know that sometimes, she’s going to treat you like a child. And the needs you have as her husband are not going to be met.
Avoid being isolated. Having a social network is critical to being a beta husband. You just don’t want to feel that you’re managing your life alone and you totally on your wife for support. If you were ever in the situation where your wife is now, remember how that felt. Most of the time, you needed some space just to relax and you wished she had friends to talk to. You need to find the same people in your life that will do the same. And to top it all off your wife is still probably doing more work around the house than you are. So you can’t get angry when she falls asleep from exhaustion.
Appeal to your wife’s feminine side. Your wife may be kickin’ ass and taking names outside the house, but she is still a woman and needs to be reminded of that from time to time, so it’s up to you to do it. So what does that mean as the beta husband you have to put your wife first. Be spontaneous, buy her a gift, or schedule a date for lunch at her office if possible.
Push back when warranted. In the office, an alpha woman doesn’t exert her will onto men as they cower in the corner, she is constantly being challenged, but stand up to their beliefs. At home, they want the same thing. In other words, she wants you to have an opinion. Being a beta husband doesn’t mean you don’t have a voice. Remember marriage is about a partnership, teamwork. If you have a conviction about an issue, share it so you can discuss it together.
Remind her that you are dependable, responsive, and supportive. In other words, you are there for her, something that her more alpha fantasy man might not be.
Figure out the best way to get more chores done. It’s no secret that even when women make more money than us, they still do more housework. That has to be corrected. If you don’t it will cause your spouse to become resentful because in her mind she will say, “You’re not pulling your weight around here.” So figure out the best tool that will help you get projects accomplished. Either create lists or use a project management app whatever works.
Create an atmosphere of romance. If romance and sex are important to you, you’ll have to make it a priority. So she makes more money than you, that doesn’t mean she is also going to be the aggressor in the bedroom. You will still have to do those things that put her in the mood. Take note if she is no longer doing those romantic things you need as a husband you should let her know that it’s important to maintain a healthy sex life.
Step up so she can step back. No matter what the situation is, whether she has expressed her displeasure in your current situation or not, she is just looking for you to take the pressure off.
In the end if you can figure out some of these details you and your relationship will be headed in the right direction.
The coronavirus not only has been wreaking havoc with our health and our economy, but it has really done a number on our relationships. The social distancing that was put in place for the entire country has done two things. It has either isolated you from your partner thus creating further distance and anxiety, or the attachment has caused constant stress and has forced you to re-evaluate what you need from your partner.
Gentleman, if your relationship has taken a hit and you’re not clear what you need to do to get back on track, here are four things you need to do to back on track and help you understand what she needs.
Open Communication is the first step!
Open communication needs to occur regularly and frequently if you want to get back on track. During this crisis if you haven’t been communicating openly then it may mean to her that the relationship is coming to an end. If you want to start to regain a healthy relationship this is the first order of business.
Open communication will help you strengthen the respect you have for one another. It will also help you be more transparent with your partner.
Open communication will also help you avoid miscommunication because fewer things will go unsaid helping her to become more secure.
Honesty is still the best policy!
During this time being honest with your partner gives you a great deal of comfort. When she trusts you implicitly she can become your best self and vice versa. This will bring back the positive energy that will make your relationship thrive while reducing those future ups and downs.
Start taking responsibility for your part in the relationship!
Doing this can be a major game-changer for your relationship especially if you were not comfortable doing this in the past. By taking ownership of your actions you are showing you can be vulnerable which in turn can help her do the same. The best way to start taking ownerships is done in 3 Steps:
Understanding what you do affects her
One other thing is that you also have to stop taking the blame for things you didn’t do. It’s counterproductive to the two topics we discussed earlier, open communication and honesty.
If you are able to the first three things, her trust in you will begin to increase. Some important things that you will need to keep in mind are to make sure you actively listen to her when it comes to open communication because that is the main component.
If you have to apologize for your actions make sure to act on those words.
And finally, be patient don’t beat yourself up if things don’t get better overnight. If you continue to work on your relationship, once the coronavirus has subsided, you will be in a much stronger place.
By taking these four action steps now really repair the damage the coronavirus has done to your relationship. She will truly understand that not only do you physically fill her needs but mentally as well.
Texting is a perfect form of communication when it comes to daily interaction with your wife. First of all, it’s quick. So much so that 77 billion messages are sent around the globe daily. Secondly, you can also multi-task especially if some important thoughts come to your head when you are in a boring business meeting you can send it out. Third, it can enhance your relationship if you and your spouse have the same texting style.
One drawback is to avoid resolving conflicts and making important decisions over text. By not talking about these things face-to-face it can make things worse because you can’t read tone or body language from a text.
So if texting is an important mode of communication with your wife then here are 12 Do’s and Don’t in what women want to hear from you in a text.
Don’t Send a text that will spark a fight!
It will only escalate more when you finally come together because words can be misconstrued without tone and non-verbal cues.
Do Send a thinking of you text.
Your wife wants to know you are thinking of her and at some point during the day you probably are so why no let her know.
Don’t Send the Dismissive text.
The “K” text can be the powder for an explosive outburst from your wife. When she is expecting more of a response from you and all she gets is one letter it can lead her to conjure up what you’re feeling or thinking and it probably won’t be good.
Do Send the Your Right text.
Your wife wants to feel that she is heard and that her opinion matters. By sending her a text telling her “she’s right” lets her you were listening to her.
Don’t Send the Your Cray-Cray text.
Did this ever work when you were talking face to face and there wasn’t laughter at the end of that statement? Then why do you think it would work in a text? Don’t do it!
Do Send the What can I do for you text.
What’s great about this text is that it’s open-ended. It will let your wife know you will serve her in any way she needs.
Don’t Send the rambling text.
Especially if she asked about your feelings before you left for work and you said, “Nothing!” This could be a signal to your wife that you’re uncomfortable sharing your feelings unless you’re in front of a screen. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Do Send the Flirty text.
Sending that flirtatious text show desire. In marriage, it’s a part of the intimate relationship that can spark the chemicals in your brain and make your sex life more intense. Send these texts early and often.
Don’t Send the Not Now text.
If you’re busy then say so and let her know when you can text her back. The words “not now” will surely not go over well especially if full-blown text conversation with someone else when the two of you were out to dinner. It will send a signal that she isn’t a priority in your life.
Do Send I’m glad to share this journey with you text.
Because marriage is a journey there are ups and downs and your wife wants to be assured you’re along for the ride.
Don’t Send the ________ text.
The non-responsive text is a definite “no-no” If your partner sends you a text she’ll expect a response. By not responding it shows her you’re not as connected as she thinks. That way cause you to be moved to second place on the ICE (In Case of Emergency) list.
Do Send the let’s go out tonight text, the kids are taken care of.
Your wife wants to spend time with you, but she also knows that if the kids aren’t taken care of she won’t really have a good time. By not only planning what you are doing for the evening but also securing babysitting will guarantee the both of you will have a great time.
Texting is an easy way to stay connected to your wife at any time and in any place. Knowing the right and wrong thing to say in a text can enhance the communication you have with your wife avoid misunderstandings.
Keith Dent is a certified relationship coach and the author of In the Paint – How to Win at the Game of Love. If you need a consultation, contact him at email@example.com