In a new memoir, “It Takes Two: Our Story, Property Brothers star, Jonathan Scott, isn’t shy about how he contributed to his divorce.
He states that “I think when you are young and you don’t really know what you want in life, you can commit to something and think at the time it is right.”
Most people give many reasons why they get divorce from infidelity, not having the same vision, to loss of intimacy, even finances. One thing is clear, we usually will blame the other person for the reason our marriages fail.
In #LOVETOPICTUESDAY, if you are one that has been divorced how did you contribute to the demise of your marriage? What tips could you give others that are on the verge of ending their marriage?
If you are unsure of the direction of your marriage and you need clarity, please contact me for a free 30 minute consultation at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Can you believe that even though you are married, you might not be meeting your partner’s needs?
For example you might assume that you are no longer have to check-in with your spouse every day, since you go to him or her. On the contrary, you might have to do it more because other distractions like work and kids can keep you from really connecting. And if this is one of your partner’s core need, this can really cause friction in your marriage.
So if you want to know if your partner’s needs are being met here are FOUR questions that you should ask to get the dialogue going?
What are your partner’s 3 basic core needs?
According to Willard Harley, author of His Needs/Her Needs, failing to make your partner happy is one of the main sources of conflict within a marriage. Most successful couples don’t get married because the sex was so incredible they needed it all the time, or they knew they would be financially set for life. People get married because they feel their partner will meet their most important needs. If you don’t know what they are, then you should ask.
What are your needs?
This is important because if your needs aren’t being met, you surely aren’t going to meet your partner’s needs. If you are without your needs being met, then you resent your partner for it. Make sure you are clear on what you need and communicate that to your partner.
Are you ready to meet their needs?
This may involve some adjustments on your part. Let’s go back to the check-in example. If you have a very busy schedule, you will have to be strategic on how you show your partner that his/her need to hear from you is being met. You may have to carve out time on your calendar or be creative on how you check in. The question you want to ask yourself, “Is this person important in your life and will you do what it takes to make them happy?”
Will your partner meet your needs?
If your partner is tuned in, he/she will make sure that your needs are met. If not, you will need to have a frank conversation before you go elsewhere to have your needs met.
If you feel your needs aren’t being met, but you are having difficulty talking about it, please contact Keith Dent for a free consultation at email@example.com.
We as a society may be consumed by Infidelity because couples have a difficult time answering these questions that are about to be examined in Esther Perel’s new book The State of Affairs. The book goes on sale this Tuesday.
Are we still passionately in love with our spouse?
Are there some fulfillments that even a good marriage can’t provide?
Do erotic desires sometime trump emotional needs?
Is it okay to love more than one person?
Are we a nation that can no longer be monogamous?
These are just some of the questions that are affecting our ability to step beyond the boundary of marriage.
What other challenges do you think we face as a society?