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15 Ideas in 2020 Couples Can Use To Make Them A Better Team.

Growing a relationship is like anything else of value: you need to plan, set goals, work, and review

Now that 2019 has come to a close, individuals are looking forward to creating their New Year’s resolutions for 2020.

Resolutions are great because they give you a chance to clear your mind, reflect on what’s important to you, and move in a positive direction, provide concrete goals that can give you focus and stability, and show others that you are striving towards your dreams. You can’t imagine the number of people that will be positively impacted!

When we think about resolutions, we usually think of goals we want to achieve for ourselves, like losing weight, getting a new job, or saving more money.

But my advice is that many relationships would improve if partners create New Year’s resolutions together as a couple.

For some awesome ideas, click here.

Photo by Form on Unsplash

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2020 in Uncategorized

 

What Women Do And Don’t Want To Hear From You in a Text!

Texting is a perfect form of communication when it comes to daily interaction with your wife. First of all, it’s quick. So much so that 77 billion messages are sent around the globe daily. Secondly, you can also multi-task especially if some important thoughts come to your head when you are in a boring business meeting you can send it out. Third, it can enhance your relationship if you and your spouse have the same texting style.

One drawback is to avoid resolving conflicts and making important decisions over text. By not talking about these things face-to-face it can make things worse because you can’t read tone or body language from a text.

So if texting is an important mode of communication with your wife then here are 12 Do’s and Don’t in what women want to hear from you in a text.

Don’t  Send a text that will spark a fight!

It will only escalate more when you finally come together because words can be misconstrued without tone and non-verbal cues.

Do Send a thinking of you text.

Your wife wants to know you are thinking of her and at some point during the day you probably are so why no let her know.

Don’t Send the Dismissive text.

The “K” text can be the powder for an explosive outburst from your wife. When she is expecting more of a response from you and all she gets is one letter it can lead her to conjure up what you’re feeling or thinking and it probably won’t be good.

Do Send the Your Right text.

Your wife wants to feel that she is heard and that her opinion matters. By sending her a text telling her “she’s right” lets her you were listening to her.

Don’t Send the Your Cray-Cray text.

Did this ever work when you were talking face to face and there wasn’t laughter at the end of that statement? Then why do you think it would work in a text? Don’t do it!

Do Send the What can I do for you text.

What’s great about this text is that it’s open-ended. It will let your wife know you will serve her in any way she needs.

Don’t Send the rambling text.

Especially if she asked about your feelings before you left for work and you said, “Nothing!” This could be a signal to your wife that you’re uncomfortable sharing your feelings unless you’re in front of a screen. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Do Send the Flirty text.

Sending that flirtatious text show desire. In marriage, it’s a part of the intimate relationship that can spark the chemicals in your brain and make your sex life more intense. Send these texts early and often.

Don’t Send the Not Now text.

If you’re busy then say so and let her know when you can text her back. The words “not now” will surely not go over well especially if full-blown text conversation with someone else when the two of you were out to dinner. It will send a signal that she isn’t a priority in your life.

Do Send I’m glad to share this journey with you text.

Because marriage is a journey there are ups and downs and your wife wants to be assured you’re along for the ride.

Don’t Send the ________ text.

The non-responsive text is a definite “no-no” If your partner sends you a text she’ll expect a response. By not responding it shows her you’re not as connected as she thinks. That way cause you to be moved to second place on the ICE (In Case of Emergency) list.

Do Send the let’s go out tonight text, the kids are taken care of.

Your wife wants to spend time with you, but she also knows that if the kids aren’t taken care of she won’t really have a good time. By not only planning what you are doing for the evening but also securing babysitting will guarantee the both of you will have a great time.

Texting is an easy way to stay connected to your wife at any time and in any place. Knowing the right and wrong thing to say in a text can enhance the communication you have with your wife avoid misunderstandings.

Keith Dent is a certified relationship coach and the author of In the Paint – How to Win at the Game of Love. If you need a consultation, contact him at info@keithdent.com

 

 
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Posted by on November 26, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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7 Reasons Why Paris Is A Great Winter Destination for Romance.

When it comes to romance in the winter, you don’t automatically think of Paris, known for its ambiance, rich culture and of course the food. You think about snow, fireplaces and ski resorts that keep you more inside than out.

A visit to Paris in the winter will change that mindset. I recently took a trip there. I was so exhilarated by all the sights and wonderful energy. I wished my wife would’ve come along with me to enjoy it. Not fighting all of the crowds was definitely a bonus. Here are seven reasons why Paris is a great winter destination for romance.

Visiting Paris by Metro

With over 302 stations covering 133 miles, it’s clearly one of the best ways to see the city. You can literally get off the plane and be in the beloved city in less than an hour. You can really discover the hidden gems of Paris traveling this way.

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The Wall of Love

Getting off at one of those stops landed us at Abbesses Metro, sight of Le mur des je t’aime, or the Wall Of Love. The 430 sq. ft tiled wall features “I love you” 311 times in 350 languages. It actually took my daughter and I ten minutes to find the words in English.

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The Love Locks are still alive.

A great romantic gesture in Paris was to place a love lock on the Pont des Arts bridge, but in 2015 the practice was banned, due to the sheer weight affecting the structure. It was awesome to see there was still a place to leave a  Love Lock and just so happen to be located near the Basilica Montmartre.

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The Louvre is a must visit.

It’s perfect for a day-long date. You can actually spend 3 or 4 days and still not see everything. Make sure you check out the Venus de Milo statue, or if you are short on time try to find all 17 artifacts that are featured in Beyonce and Jay-Z’s video “ApeShit.”

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Visit Paris by Scooter 

If you get tired of the Metro there is nothing more dangerously romantic than riding through the Paris streets on a motorized scooter. If you rent one and travel together, you can get from the Louvre to the Eiffel tower in about 20 minutes. From an intimacy standpoint, that’s huge.

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The Top of the Eiffel Tower

Not only was it cool being able to go to the highest structure in Paris., but they make sure you culminate your visit with a glass of champagne and kiss once you get there.

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The food of course

The food of course was just fantastic especially the croissants from Le Pain Retrouve, a bakery in Montmartre.

The French are so passionate about their food and wine. What was awesome was drinking Vin Chaud (hot-wine) out in the open on a cold winter’s night. There was just something magical about drinking it on the open.

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There are many romantic places you can visit and I haven’t been to all of them yet, but if I get another opportunity to take a trip with my spouse during the winter I’ll choose Paris each and every time and these 7 reasons will make it that special.

Keith Dent is a certified relationship coach and author of In the Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love. If you’re unsure if you can really put how you feel into words and you need some help, visit his website or follow him on Twitter for more love and relationship advice.

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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The 12 Fights Every Couple Must Conquer to Have a Strong Marriage!

When you’re in the honeymoon phase of your marriage there is no argument that will derail your love because the feelings are so intense and the connection is so passionate.

If you are fortunate enough to get through the honeymoon phase as most married couples do, there are 12 arguments that almost every marriage goes through if you want to last.

The What are You Doing Fight?

This is probably the first fight you will have after the honeymoon phase. This is the fight were the intense love has worn off and the idiosyncracies of your partner starts to wear on your nerves.

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The Proving Your Right Fight!

This type of fight starts when each couple’s views on the relationship from their own point-of-view. Each person will expend tremendous amounts of energy making sure their point is heard, but usually, nothing gets resolved.

The You’re Nagging and I’m not listening Fight.

The type of fight occurs when a “What Are You Doing?” Fight goes unresolved. The frustrated partner then ramps up the emotions to the point where the other partner tends to ignore it.

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The When are You Going To Do The( Insert Chore Here) Fight!

When household responsibilites that were once 50/50 in a relationship have now become one-sided. This fight is usually an undercurrent of what is really going on. It’s about the expectations of the relationship and feeling appreciated.

The He/She Better Do Right By My Birthday Fight!

When the special time to show appreciation turns into the same old boring celebration. This fight usually occurs because no matter what, Partner B does, he/she will never meet the expectations of Partner A.

 

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The Bad Reputation Fight!

Because you’ve argued about the same thing so many times you stay in defense mode instead of getting to the core of the problem. This argument is hard to overcome because the defenses you have built up over time keeps you from getting to the core of the issue.

 

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The You Don’t Care About Me Fight!

When a fight falls on deaf ears and Partner A feels that Partner B doesn’t care enough to do anything to change it.

 

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Parenting Differences Fight!

When your personality differences become a problem when it comes to raising your kids.

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The Money Fight!

When the an individuals thoughts and priorities about money aren’t discussed and agreed upon.

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The Sex Fight!

When the anger, arguing and acrimony about sex turns into an argument.

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The In-Laws

When you don’t have a plan on how you will interact with each other’s families affects your relationship.

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In order to conquer any of these 12 arguments, you have to work at figuring out what is the core issue you are mad about and communicating it to your partner so you can have to marriage journey that you want.

 

Keith Dent is a relationship and life coach at Strive2Succeed Coaching and the author of “In The Paint: How to Win at the Game of  Love.” His work has appeared on The Good Men Project, MamaMia, and The Real Dad’s Network. If you’d like to figure out the type of relationship that is best for you, give him a shout via email at info@strive2succeedcoaching.com

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

14 Quotes That Highlight The Traits Needed For Today’s Dad.

In a recent article, Do Father’s Really Make A Difference, it’s clear that when a father and mother live together, the kids perform better in school, and have lower rates of delinquency and substance.

But, it’s not about just being present. The role model a father can play can help a child feel connected and learn lessons that will strengthen them.
So what are some of those personality traits that will do just that? Here are 14 of the best quotes that will describe the traits you need to make a difference in your child’s life.

1.Patience

Your kids will test you as they grow and mature. Having patience is essential.

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You will even need Patience with yourself. Don’t waver when things get hard. Stay the course.

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2. Values

When you have values that are rooted in something higher than yourself it guides your decision making.

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Having strong values not only helps you share yourself, but also helps you pass down your legacy to your children.

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3. Open-Minded

Being open-minded means you understand you’re raising children than yourself. Be able to teach as well as learn.

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Being open-minded enough to express their own thoughts and pursue their own dreams and goals will help your children thrive.

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4. Loving

Consistently showing love to your family is vital. Your kids will do better in school, be more empathetic and avoid risky behaviors.

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The more love you show, the more love you will get back. Love is about being vulnerable.

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5. Loyalty

Being loyal means you will be there no matter what, especially during the hard times.

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When your family gets attacked by life, a loyal father must hang in there. It’s what makes the family stronger.

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6.Honesty

Relationships are built on trust and being honest. It’s not about being perfect, but you must do what you say you are going to do.

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When you are honest with your children, they will feel safe and share their life with you. It’s what intimate relationships are built on.

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7. Lead by Example

As the co-leader of the family what he does and the choices he makes will have a ripple effect throughout the entire family. Leading by example is about planting seeds.

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Fatherhood is about being a role model. It will not only make your family happier and more stable, but it will also make the community and the world a better place to live.

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If you’re a father, figure out which of these traits you are missing and work on them. Practice them until you can display them consistently and meaningfully with your family. You will be happy that you did and your kids will be happy too.

If you are stuck with figuring out how to incorporate some of these traits into your life and you need help contact me info@strive2succeedcoaching.com.

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2018 in Parenthood, Uncategorized

 

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7 Things Harry Must Do In Order For His Marriage to Thrive

photo of groom putting wedding ring on his bride

Photo by Jeremy Wong on Pexels.com

Harry the time has come.  All the guests have arrived. You finished your rehearsal and now that you have a few minutes of quiet time, it’s time to think about 7 things you must do as you prepare for marriage. Yesterday Meghan thought about several things, now it’s your turn.

  1. You didn’t just choose her, she chose you, too! That is very important to understand because that mean Meghan truly is aware of the drama that will consume your lives on an everyday basis. She is ready and willing to take on the challenge and take it on with you.
  2. Embrace her independence. She isn’t expecting this marriage to totally change her life now that she is marrying you. She is going to expect to continue to reach for her goals and to champion her causes like gender equity.
  3. Meghan’s not her family. Just because her dad was allegedly colluding with the paparazzi and her sister is trying to cash in on the fame doesn’t mean that’s her. You fell in love with Meghan for Meghan. Even though it’s nice to have family cohesiveness it doesn’t mean the marriage won’t work if you don’t.
  4. You can lean on her for support. You know there were times where you suffered from depression. Being married and eventually a father has its own set of pressures. Don’t think you need to take that on all by yourself. Have the courage and be vulnerable enough to share these issues with Meghan when they bubble to the surface. She will hold you up.
  5. There will still be times where she will need your protection. Even though Meghan is a very strong, centered, independent woman, keep in mind she is the one making the biggest adjustment. She’s moving to a new country, putting her career temporarily on hold in order to acclimate herself to a whole new set of norms. Be vigilant when you see things are getting overwhelming. That is what a good husband should do.
  6. Be Patient. Things may not click in right away and she may need to take a break and return to the U.S. early in the marriage. It’s a big adjustment.
  7. At the end of the day it’s just the two of you. Once the wedding is over and you strip away all the pomp and circumstance, it will just be you and Meghan. Enjoy getting to really know her and growing old with her.
 
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Posted by on May 18, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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7 Things Meghan Markle Must Do For Her Marriage To Thrive!

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This weekend there is another royal wedding. Prince Harry is marrying Meghan Markle. This is sure to be a royal wedding like no other. One reason is that Meghan was born in the United States and two she is of mixed race. Folks are already fascinated to see if there will be any more interesting things that happen during this event. This wedding has created a lot of hoopla and fanfare as England and the world prepare for this event.

Even though this event has already been highly publicized, this is only the beginning of the type of media coverage they will receive during their marriage journey. Prior to the wedding the couple has also been receiving pre-marital coaching in order to help them navigate through all of the challenges they may face.

As a relationship coach, if given the opportunity there are 7 important topics Meghan would need to understand going into the marriage.

  • Think about any media event and multiply it by 100. – The coverage and the excitement over every move in your marriage will be covered. I know you are used to some of it during your time as a celebrity, but it’s even bigger. Lean on Harry when you begin to feel overwhelmed. He will help you navigate these challenges.
  • Remain independent – You have built a career for yourself as well as a platform. You your new title to make some of the changes that you have only dreamed of.
  • Utilize the 3 C’s (Communicate, Compromise, Compassion). Marriage in general is challenging enough, especially in the early years. Understanding how to best communicate, compromise and how to show compassion can go a long way to getting through the bumpy episodes.
  • Remember, he chose you! Prince Harry had the opportunity and the access, he chose you to be his wife over everyone. This was different than his father, who was ultimately in love with his current wife Camilla. This is important, especially when the paparazzi or just the haters try to put a wedge between the two of you.
  • Show Respect – This will be a key component to the success of your marriage. Men always want to feel like they are respected even if he is a prince or a pauper. We tend to think that respecting him in public is sufficient, but don’t forget to respect his abilities, his judgement and his voice. There is no quicker way for a man to fall out of love if he doesn’t feel respected.
  • Enjoy the journey and be present. – Part of being present is doing one thing at a time. You will easily get sucked into many engagements for the royal family and will forget other things. Understand that sometimes, you will have to say NO. It will be up to Harry to understand and protect your need for your time. According to Michael Formica, psychotherapist and author of 5 Steps for Being Present states that being present is, in a sense, a meditation without meditating. The stillness here, though, comes from action – breathing, attending, witnessing, releasing and breathing again.

Doing these things early in your marriage, Meghan will help you stay on the right track. Stay Tuned for tomorrow as I provide the 7 tips on What Harry Must Do for His Marriage to Thrive. 

Keith Dent is a relationship, life coach at Strive2Succeed Coaching. He is the author of the In The Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love and his work has appeared on sites like The Good Men Project, MamaMia, and The Real Dad’s Network. If this is you and you feel you are having trouble telling your partner about that you are cheating, contact me via email and let’s have a chat.

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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