What I will say to Will & Kate (Session #3) – Expect Conflict! How will you handle it?

As much as the media is excited about your upcoming nuptials today, they will be just as excited tomorrow to report a conflict. The funny thing about it is differences are going to come. You are getting married because you are attracted to each other’s differences. 

It’s inevitable these differences will cause disagreements, but the better you deal with them the greater your communication will be. Would you rather create an environment that has greater truthfulness, trust and respect or an environment that is built on resentment and disappointment?

If the answer is yes to the former, here are 4 tips that will help you in the process.

  • Establish that you will create a FOUNDATION that is based on respect and that you embrace your differences instead of trying to eliminate or change them.
  • Establish what BOUNDARIES you will have when it comes to discussing issuew with outside friends and advisors. Your disagreements over brunch in the morning can quickly become tabloid news in the afternoon.  
  • Know and express your true FEELINGS. No matter what reaction you get, the other person is going to be upset. So it’s better to be open and honest with yourself in order to not build up that resentment.
  • Finally REFRAME and acknowledge challenges and offer “we” statements on how to make things better. A team environment is key to uplifting and building your marriage to greatness.

 Your marriage will only get stronger with on-the-job training. Even me as your coach, can’t force a great marriage onto you. It takes ACTION on your part. So simply allow yourself to embrace there will be conflict by going through it rather than always seeking comfort from others.

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Keith has over a decade of experience in the field, counseling and coaching individuals, couples, teens and their parents to help them improve their relationships and their ability to achieve their personal goals. For the past seven years Keith has developed specific programs to help teens and their families achieve success in all facets of their lives that may have eluded them in the past. Academics, relationships, athletics, college preparation and applications, goal setting and developing specific plans are areas where working with Keith as a Coach can help young people set the patterns that promise a brilliant future. He works with couples to help them achieve the kind of relationship they envisioned when they first made their commitment to each other. Strengthening communication and revitalizing their understanding and empathy for each other helps couples regain the romance and closeness they long for – even in their everyday “real” world. Having a coach is like having a GPS for life. Keith can help you get a realistic picture of where you are and focus on the best path forward toward your goals. Unlike counseling, coaching focuses on the future, not the past.

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