Well Duke and Duchess it was a great day and a great night. I really want to thank you not only for inviting me to this wonderful event, but entrusting me to add some insight to solidifying your marriage.
As you think about the day and the two of you were able to soak in the moment, write down what your favorite part of the day was and share it with each other. As I depart, I will leave you with some final thoughts.
- Now that you exchanged vows and made that commitment to be monogamous, KEEP IT! – I know this part will be hard to grasp now, but later a desire and attraction for another person will try to rear its ugly head. It’s natural as human beings. You will have to manage and avoid acting on any impulses. Over time the dedication to monogamy becomes the habit through which you develop and strengthen many of the attributes a strong marriage needs. In the end you will be amazed of the subtle and delightful things you discover in yourselves and each other.
- Don’t allow outsiders to dissuade you from your ultimate goal! – After today’s festivities, a new generation that was once jaded about marriage, believe more than ever there is a “happily ever after”. Darkness and pain is inevitable, but how you deal with it is optional. Don’t succumb to them, but face them honestly and directly.
- Take the opportunity to teach and learn from each other. What draws you together are the differences you have. Don’t let the differences threaten you, annoy you, or cause you to try to change them. If you know it or not, you have much to teach your partner and much to learn from your partner. Strong marriages are built when you are adept at both roles.
- You guys are both smart. Don’t let your brains get in the way!– You may be wondering what I mean. You may expect, that you have known each other for years, heck we even lived together so to speak. This marriage will be perfect from DAY ONE. But as Linda and Charlie Bloom say in their book, 101 Things I wish I knew when I got married, “Loving relationships can’t be rushed. It requires time and effort to make a relationship a beautiful creation. And it takes continued work to keep that relationship in good condition. It may take years to develop a style of being together that works well for both people. The best relationships are the ones that are ever-growing, being constantly, newly created.” You operate under nobody’s timetable, but your own.
- Today was just the sprint. Be just as excited and invested in the marathon.
As I depart back to the states, don’t hesitate to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any issues. Most couples wait to long to contact me and when they do, all the love and goodwill they developed early in the marriage erodes beyond all repair. Don’t let that happen. I am hear for you.