Marriage Music Monday – Exploring Intimacy

An excerpt  from Matthew Kelly’s – 7 Levels of Intimacy – The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved.

David Anderson lived in Boston with his wife, Sarah and   hree children Rachel, Shannon, and Jonah. He was very successful  businessman, and one of the rewards of his success was their summer home on
Martha’s Vineyard. Sarah and the kids spent the whole summer there, while David  usually spent part of each weekend and always came for the first two weeks of July.

One summer a few years ago, he was driving out to the beach  at the beginning of July when he made a promise to himself. For two weeks, he  was going to be a loving and attentive husband and father. He would make  himself totally available. He would turn off his cell phone, resist the  temptation to be constantly checking his e-mail, and make himself completely  available to his family and a genuine experience vacation.

You see, David worked too much. He knew it. Everyone around  him knew it. When you love your work, that’s one of the dangers. When you rely  on your work too much for your identity, that’s one of the pitfalls. From time  to time, David felt guilty about how much he worked, but to brush the guilt  aside by making the excuse that it was necessary. Sometimes he overcame his  feeling of guilt by calling to mind the many privileges and opportunities that  his wife and children were able to enjoy became worked so hard.

Did rationalizations succeed? Only temporarily. But this  vacation was going to be different. David was going to be attentive and  available.

Is this you? Have you felt this about your spouse, or  children? Being present in your life? This sort of activity takes a higher  level of intimacy that only you can make.

As these lyrics suggest in Luther Vandross’s song “A House is  Not a Home.”

A room is a still a  room, even when there’s nothin’ there but gloom

But a room is not a house and a house is not a home

When the two of us are far apart

And one of us has a broken heart

We will be exploring the 7 levels of Intimacy over the next  several posts.

We could start by asking  the question, what does Intimacy mean to you?

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Keith has over a decade of experience in the field, counseling and coaching individuals, couples, teens and their parents to help them improve their relationships and their ability to achieve their personal goals. For the past seven years Keith has developed specific programs to help teens and their families achieve success in all facets of their lives that may have eluded them in the past. Academics, relationships, athletics, college preparation and applications, goal setting and developing specific plans are areas where working with Keith as a Coach can help young people set the patterns that promise a brilliant future. He works with couples to help them achieve the kind of relationship they envisioned when they first made their commitment to each other. Strengthening communication and revitalizing their understanding and empathy for each other helps couples regain the romance and closeness they long for – even in their everyday “real” world. Having a coach is like having a GPS for life. Keith can help you get a realistic picture of where you are and focus on the best path forward toward your goals. Unlike counseling, coaching focuses on the future, not the past.

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