Hey Single Men! Last night you may have met the one, but you know you will have to do something different to let her know your true feelings. Then you suddenly opened your Bank App and realized you might not have the funds to do so. So, are you going to still shy away from asking from taking your relationship to the next level romantically because you think you need a lot of money in order to take the woman you love out on the perfect kind of dates?
On Wednesday, Dr. Maya Angelou at the age of 86 passed away. As a poet, author, playwright, director, performer, actress, professor, producer, singer and civil right’s activist, she inspired most of us to live our best, strive to be the best and most of all love. Here are 7 ways Dr. Maya Angelou inspired us to LOVE.
Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister’s eyes, into
Your brother’s face, your country
And say simply
On the Pulse in the Morning
Give me your hand
Make room for me
to lead and follow
beyond this rage of poetry.
Let others have
the privacy of
and love of loss
Give me your hand
Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Lift up your hearts.
Each new hour holds new chances
For new beginnings.
The Rock Cries Out for Us Today
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.
Touched by an Angel
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time. And always one more time.”
Now that Thanksgiving is over, we are quickly moving to the Christmas holidays and ringing in 2014. So that means countless office parties, winter weddings and holiday soirees, What that also means is that means another opportunity to meet the love of your life, or to end another year where you will check “single” on your 1040-EZ form.
Fear of being alone can cause people to make bad choices when it comes to relationships. In fact according to a new study by the University of Toronto (U of T) study has found published in the December edition of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found fear of being single is a meaningful predictor of settling for less in relationships among both men and women.
“Those with stronger fears about being single are willing to settle for less in their relationships,” says lead author Stephanie Spielmann, postdoctoral researcher in the University of Toronto’s Department of Psychology. “Sometimes they stay in relationships they aren’t happy in, and sometimes they want to date people who aren’t very good for them.” She adds, “Now we understand that people’s anxieties about being single seem to play a key role in these types of unhealthy relationship behaviors.”
“In our results we see men and women having similar concerns about being single, which lead to similar coping behaviors, contradicting the idea that only women struggle with a fear of being single,” says co-author, Professor Geoff MacDonald of the University of Toronto’s Department of Psychology. “Loneliness is a painful experience for both men and women, so it’s not surprising that the fear of being single seems not to discriminate on the basis of gender.”
So if you fill the tug at your heart to settle for someone who might not be worthy of your time, Here are some tips to avoid a potential bad choice.
Educate yourself! The mainstream media this time of year is filled with really unhealthy messages regarding relationships, for example that you need another person to make the holidays complete. These romantic notions work great in books and the Hallmark channel but are highly destructive if taken literally. You are always a whole and indivisible being, capable of immense self-love, self acceptance and self sexuality.
Tell yourself you are making a choice to be single! This is a paradigm shift that may help you in the long run. By consciously making the choice, if will shift the way you view your life and how you live it when it comes to sharing it with your co-workers, family and friends.
Be self disciplined! Instead of remaining the victim of your own fear of being single, take control! Tell yourself that you will actively remain single for a the holidays. If you do plan to date, try to make sure the dates give are fun and give you ample time to get know someone.
Do what you want! In the end your relationship status is a personal choice, there is no right or wrong, no good or bad. Instead of being the victim of cultural assumptions and societal norms, take the time to find out how you really would like to engage with other people. What kind of status would you choose if there was no pressure, no assumptions? Take your time and find what’s best for you. If you think something is a good idea then there have already been many others who think the same, and have most likely blazed a trail for you to follow. The way you engage in relationships, or don’t is not what’s important, the important thing is doing in consciously, and doing what’s right for YOU!
It’s ALWAYS better to be single than to start a bad relationship! There’s not much more to say here. Getting into,or an unhealthy, bad relationship simply out of a fear of being alone is a really bad idea. It takes a lot of courage to take that leap into being single, but it’s always, 100% of the time worth it when the relationship is causing more harm than good.
Strivers has there ever been a time where you wanted to get into a relationship out of fear of being alone? What did you do to avoid it?
On this fun Friday, I know most of you are figuring your Osculating plan (kissing) for the weekend based on yesterday’s post on How to Bring Sexy Back. I just wanted to reiterate these three elements to avoid.
According to most Arbitron ratings across the country, SportsTalk radio is usually at the top among men 25-54.
Ladies, don’t be surprised if you receive gifts from Vermont Teddy Bear‘s Hunka Love Bear, or flowers for Valentine’s Day,since they have inundated the sports radio market with commercials the past week as the gift you want on the special day.
In reality most men aren’t sure what to buy. They will fall into two categories, trying to find the perfect gift, or not really having a clue and getting something at the last minute. What I do know, they want to buy a gift that will lead them to staying up really late and receiving some really special candy.
Since, most men aren’t going to ask, iLoveStrong will ask for them. What would you like your spouse to give you for Valentine’s Day. Please answer the iLOVESTRONG Valentine’s Day poll.
I don’t care for the snow that much. It’s too cold, plus you know my ancestors are from the motherland. We are use to heat and, barely wearing in the clothes. When I was a teenager, I always did enjoy going out in the middle of the night to shovel our driveway. One, I was usually the only one out there, and two it always seemed like Heaven because it was so quiet.
When we think of doing romantic things with our spouse, we always think of the beach, or some remote island. As a LoveStrong couple you have to re-frame what you think about snow. Snow can be very romantic, but you have to take advantage of it before the snowplows, snow shovels, and screaming kids mess it all up. So here are 7 Romantic things you can do with your Mate if you are a LoveStrong couple.
Go for a Walk in a Park. – It will probably be the most peaceful place during a blizzard.
Snowball target practice – Instead of guns, throw snowballs instead, You have to use a tree or some other inanimate object. If you were to have a snowball fight and someone gets hit in the face, there goes your romantic day.
Carve you love for each other in a snowdrift.
Fall off the roof of your car backwards – provided there is at least 8 inches of snow beside you to catch your fall.
Bury your partner in the snow, but do it quickly.
Have a snow picnic.
Go for a Run – Running on snow is similar to running on the beach, in that the snow, like sand, absorbs energy. It takes more energy to run longer on snow than it does on a clean sidewalk, which means it is fantastic exercise.
What other things can you do in the snow to remain LoveStrong. Enjoy the Blizzard of 2013 everybody.
iLoveStrong’s Ultimate Love Song is back. There are a few twists from last season. For one, it will be the battle of the best LoveSong duets ranked by the iLoveStrong coach with the help from some of a my friends. What makes a great iLoveStrong Song, the chemistry between the artists musically and the lyrics. I will also include the top lyric in the post that helps solidify its ranking.
Each song will advance to the next round based on your comments from my Facebook Page, or comments on this page, so let’s have some fun and VOTE.
The top four seeds are as follows: #1 Endless Love by Lionel and Diana #2 Reunited by Peaches & Herb #3 Fire and Desire by Rick James and Teena Marie. #4 Baby Come to Me by James Ingram and Patti Austin.
So let’s get started with #1 Endless Love (Lionel Richie & Diana Ross) Lyric: “My Love, there is only you in my life, the only thing that’s bright.”
#16 Take Your Time (Al Green & Corrine Bailey Rae) Lyric: “I wanna take a little time just to fall in love again.”
It’s always nice to hear from my readers. So, I decided to take the top research findings of 2012 to start a discussion.
Let’s get started with research finding #1. According to a Brigham Young University study, couples reported lower marital satisfaction when one spouse’s gaming interfered with bedtime routines. Seventy-five percent of gamers’ spouses wished their partners would put more effort into their marriages; however, when both spouses gamed, a majority reported greater satisfaction in their relationships.
So ar you, or your spouse a gamer? How does it affect your marriage? Have you wanted to join your spouse in gaming, but he/she hasn’t taught you how to play?
This past weekend was the first Power of We Relationship Cruise hosted by Keith Dent and Strive 2 Succeed Coaching Services. We left Bayonne, NJ on a 7-day journey to the island of Bermuda. To say the trip was awesome and empowering was an understatement. I really can’t give just one reason why you don’t want to miss the next cruise, so I will give you ten.
#10 – The opportunity to participate in fun activities that helps you understand your spouse’s personality in a much clearer way.
#9 – An opportunity to hang out with like-minded couples that value their marriage.
#8 – You get to take your spouse on a romantic dinner every night.
#7 – Talk to your spouse about how to empower your marriage in a relaxed atmosphere.
#6 – The opportunity to try something new with your spouse. (WE WENT SCUBA DIVING. AWESOME!)
#5 – You actually have time to write a real love letter to your spouse.
#4 – Learned new and improved ways to communicate with your spouse.
#3 – Have fun. Playing games. (We played Ping-Pong.)
#2 – If you have kids, this cruise gives you the opportunity to just be a husband or a wife and not just parents, as quoted by Tyrone Brooks, participant on the cruise.
#1 – It’s self-explanatory, if you don’t know, you need to call me.
YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS THE NEXT ONE….Details will follow very soon.
After reading my last blog on trust, you might have realized that your relationship is suffering in this area.
How would you know that:
There is no feeling of risk as a partner! No risk, No trust.
You don’t accept and cultivate your partner’s vulnerability!
You don’t take your partner’s investment seriously!
If your relationship has been operating under these conditions, DON’T GIVE UP! It’s easy to throw all that you have worked for away. Trust can be renewed with these 6 repairs.
If you get a sense that you have violated your partner’s trust, bring it out in the open. Acknowledgement is the first step to healing. If you remain silent you will further erode any possibility of a strong relationship. If you need support, or you need someone to help you create a plan contact a counselor or a relationship coach.
Trust the violation and the repair very seriously. Building trust will take work. You will have to do more work and go a little overboard to gain her trust back.
If you partner has violated your trust, don’t let them off the hook. If your trust was violated, let them know it. You self-esteem is just as vital to a strong relationship. If you never get to the point of comfort-ability, you will never feel restored in your marriage.
Don’t become a martyr;it’s not about you, it’s about your partner. When the truth comes out that you have violated his/her trust, don’t even utter, “I’m such a horrible person, why did you even marry me? I knew I would mess up.” These phrases will turn your partner’s anger meter up a hundredfold because you are looking for forgiveness when it’s not warranted.
Make the changes and commit to them. Come up with a mutual plan that will help repair the trust and commit to it. Remember, some of the things your partner wants you to do may seem ridiculous to you, but it’s not about you. For instance:
Making sure you can be reached by cell and text. Let your partner know where you are going and who you are with.
Giving control and access to your finances including your paycheck.
Discussing any major decisions you need to make before you make them.
Getting help for an addiction.
Rebuilding trust has no timetable. It will take time to rebuild, but it can only be done if the partner that is violated can truly forgive and begin to take the risk again.
STRIVERS, continue to work to build and maintain a strong relationship. Our family and friends need it.