6 Ways Single Moms Can Raise Their Son To Exemplify Positive Masculinity.

Photo by Larry Crayton on Unsplash

When your relationship ends after you have children, you may worry about many things.

Work-life balance, guilt for not being able to spend as much time at home, and fatigue from trying to carry the entire load — emotionally, cognitively, and psychologically.

And if you’re raising sons, you may have an additional worry: How do you raise them to exhibit the positive qualities of manhood?

Boys need positive male role models who can show them traits of positive masculinity.

But what if your ex-husband has no plans to financially, socially, emotionally, or mentally raise your son to be the man you want him to be?

The first thing I want you to do is to take a deep breath and remember this: Don’t believe the hype! You can do it!https://b6b83d5f24e957ebc35f61813cdff5d8.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html

Did you know that Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, actor Leonardo DiCaprio, and comedian Kevin Hart are just a few successful men that have been raised by single mothers?

To read what positive masculinity looks like when you are a single mom raising your son, click here.

Couples Conversation – Your Growth! Do You Get Support?

Are you growing, but your partner and is resistant to that growth?  If ther is resistant, it can create an impasse for you as a couple.

If you are growing as an individual, has your partner noticed and what is he/she doing to support you in your growth?

Growth in a marriage requires attention, effort, intention and strong communication. In other words, change.

 

Keith Dent is a certified coach and author of In the Paint – How to Win at the Game of Love. If you feel you need a change, but am not sure how to communicate that to your partner contact Keith at info@keithdent.com

Your Marriage Can Say a Lot In a Picture!

What does this picture say about Marriage?

What components do you need in your marriage, so you can insert you and your spouse’s face on these two figures?

Have you reached out to a friend today?

Sometimes a friend needs to hear from you just to know you care. It’s more than just FB updates or a quick tweet.  Hearing a friend’s voice can provide peace that a person needs.

Can You Have An Opinion Please! – How a lack of respect can ruin Trust!

 

In my last post 3 Ways Straight-Talk Can Help Your Marriage  we discussed how to regain trust from your spouse. This second behavior is about demonstrating respect.

This is probably one of the biggest ways you can outwardly show trust and the easiest way to damage it.

Respect is the intrinsic value you place on your partner. The higher the value the higher respect you will have for your spouse and vice versa.

You may be wondering how my lack of respect can correlate to how much she trusts you. It could summed up in something as simple as a restaurant selection.

Let’s just say as a couple you alternate between who selects the restaurant for dinner. When you pick the restaurant, you’re wife always gives you the approval for picking the restaurant even though she might not be all the way excited about it. When it’s time for her to pick and you say, “I don’t care!” You are telling your spouse. I don’t really care about you!

That was always one of my wife’s pet peeves. She hates people who don’t have an opinion. So imagine what our marriage would’ve been like if I never gave any feedback on a restaurant selection, or anything else for that matter.

It only takes ONE defining moment to lose the trust of a spouse because of disrespect.

So how can you get it back.

Recall your home training. The little things you do can speak volumes. By saying “Please” and “Thank You”, picking up your dirty underwear and sharing thoughts and your precious stuff can have a huge impact.

Treat her better than you  treat other women. – It sounds easy enough, but what if she has seen you holding the door for other women, especially in a work environment. She sure as hell is going to want to experience the same level of treatment, if not more on a regular basis.

Think about the specific things she has asked you to do, but you have stopped doing, or haven’t done at all. It may be something as minute as telling her you’re going to be late coming home from work, or buying a card just because. When you have been in a marriage for a long time as I have, you can take the little things for granted. But, in reality it’s the little things that maintain a marriage.

Respect can go a long way to rebuilding your trust and rebuilding your marriage. 

If you feel your spouse has lost respect for you marriage, what are some of the things you need to do to get it back? If you feel stuck, please email Coach Keith at info@strive2succeedcoaching.com.

S2S Song of the Night – Daughters -John Mayer

My heart is a little heavy this evening. PG is leaving on Thursday to support a friend who lost her niece last week. She was just a senior in high school.

As I think about her and the recent death of Avonte Oquendo, it helps me to realize that the relationship between PG and me, not only extends to the two of us, but to our kids as well. If our relationship isn’t strong, it will affect how we relate with our kids.

Sometimes, divorce is inevitable, but if you have a plan for raising your children, they can thrive. On this night, I will think of the young girl the way John Mayer sings about it in ‘Daughters’

She puts the color inside of my world
But she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I’ve done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

RIP Syn and Avonte

Coach Keith

Summer Lovin’ – Day #2

Summer, after all, is a time when wonderful things can happen to people. For those few months you’re not required to be who everyone thinks you are. The fresh cut grass smell in the air & the chance to dive into the deep end of a pool, gives you courage you didn’t think you had. Summer just opens the door and lets you free.

Relationship Question of the Day – Motivation

Do something consistently and well takes motivation. So the relationship question of the day deals with motivation in your marriage.

How do you stay motivated in your marriage in order to do it consistently and well?

 

Do you have Weekend Relationship Syndrome?

Here are 5 symptoms that will let you know if you have Weekend Marriage Syndrome?

1. When you are barking about the fact the morning coffee wasn’t made rather than kissing your partner good morning.
2. When your time spent together during the week consists of a headnod of acknowldegement in separate cars on your way to work.
3. When the last gift you purchased for your partner was a personal hygiene product at the grocery store that you forgot to buy last week.
4. When date night consists of a picnic at your child’s sporting event.
5. When making love becomes a check-off so it doesn’t remain as another item on the to-do list.

If you suffer from this disease, there is HOPE. Contact Coach Keith immediately to help restore some balance in your relationship, reclaim the love and intimacy that has been missing, and remember the reason why you came together in the first place.