13 Ways to Show Your Girl You Love Her, When The Cash is Low!

Hey Single Men! Last night you may have met the one, but you know you will have to do something different to let her know your true feelings. Then you suddenly opened your Bank App and realized you might not have the funds to do so. So, are you going to still shy away from asking from taking your relationship to the next level romantically because you think you need a lot of money in order to take the woman you love out on the perfect kind of dates?

You don’t have to worry about that.

Get some great tips by clicking on this article 13 Cheap, Yet Fun Romantic Ideas to sweep her off her feet.

7 Reasons Why Your Relationship is Like Playing In The Paint!

If you have ever watched, or played a basketball game, there is a place on the court that is called “The Paint.” It’s the rectangular area on the court contained within the key. The key is the area that encompasses the middle of the floor underneath the basket. It is often shaded, which explains the origin of the word, and always has a semi-circle attached on the short side opposite the basket.

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In a basketball game this is the area where the big boys play. It’s also one of the most important areas on the basketball court. There is lots of bumping, shoving, and pushing in the paint. It’s also the place where you can get rebounds and score easy baskets. If you can’t master this area in a basketball game, you are less likely to win.

Being in a marriage there is similar to Playing In the Paint. In marriage, there are seven qualities that make it similar to this important part of basketball.

  1. When You Play in the Paint, you have to know your strengths. Dennis Rodman knew he was a great rebounder, and he worked on his craft to make sure he was an asset to his team. In marriage, you need to know your strengths as well as the strength of your partner, to ensure you are pushing each other to be their best self. thHUW9X37H
  2. When You Play in the Paint, you have to be able to trust your teammate. The Boston Celtics of the 80’s are considered one of the top frontcourt tandem of all time. They had ferocious grace and skill, but their best characteristic was they had each other’s back on the court. When you are marriage, you are competing against so much; work, the kids, outside pressures, that you have to be able to trust each other no matter what.
  3. When You Play in the Paint you will get angry. Some of the biggest fights, visible or not will happen in the painted area. It happens when you are in close proximity to each other. Marriage is no different. You are in close proximity to you spouse for the rest of you life. It’s normal. The most important part is how you handle your anger.
  4. When You Play in the Paint you have to be able to talk. It’s the job of the other team to screen and shield you from their player, so they can score. In order to play defense effectively, you will have to be able to communicate. In marriage, communication is the lifeblood to any marriage in order to establish goals and avoid any obstacles that may get in the way of being fulfilled,
  5. When You Play in the Paint you create an identity. The Detroit Pistons of the 90’s where also called the BAD BOYS, because they were known for playing hard nosed basketball and inflicting pain on their court to help provide and edge. In marriage, you want to create a set of core beliefs and principles that you will live by. This will clearly help move in the same direction as your marriage progresses. It was also help you establish a set of principles to pass down once the kids arrive.
  6. When You Play in the Paint  you have to be able to defend. Akeem Olajuwon and Ralph Sampson, aka The Twin Towers, made it almost impossible for offiensive players to score down low. In marriage you have to have a great defense if you are going to make it. In this instance, defense means the ability to handle your finances. If you struggle in this area, you will struggle in marriage.
  7. When You Play in the Paint you develop a special bond. The chemistry among the members that play in the paint can be very fulfilling. This play is taken for granted in a typical basketball game today, since centers are no longer the focal point of the team. In reality, these players are the unsung heroes of any team. In marriage, your sexual bond, is very important, but it is often taken for granted especially when the children, your career and take precedent. By paying attention to this important aspect can help you keep your marriage fresh and interesting.

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Excerpts from this blog is taken from Coach Keith’s upcoming new book In the Paint, How to Win at the Game of Love. If you are interested reserving your copy, e-mail him at info@strive2succeedcoaching.com.

 

 

She Said/He Said – an Entrepreneurial Dillemma

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This weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend a two-day Father/Son basketball camp with my oldest son. There were many dad’s that were there either trying to reclaim their youth or was just excited to spend some quality time with their son. For me it was a little bit of both.

While at breakfast, I struck up a conversation with Ronald, a fellow Jerseyan about his statistics. You know, where are you from, what do you do, etc…What was fascinating to me was not what he did for a living, but what he gave up. Ronald was an accomplished, self-taught IT entrepreneur that worked for Charles Schwab for 20 years until he was recently laid off. He decided to go out on his own and after a few months and was making the same money just working 3 days a week. When he wasn’t working he would spend his free time on his motorcycle, taking care of the kids, or doing what IT people do, play on the computer. He felt things were going well.

His wife on the other hand didn’t view his career choice the same way. She was a successful accountant that worked very hard 5 days a week. Even though her husband felt he was doing well, she felt that he wasn’t working hard enough, especially when she saw how much fun he was having. She felt that if he could earn the same amount of money working just 3 days a week, imagine if he worked every day. This was a source of conflict for them as couple. Ultimately he gave up his entrepreneurial dreams and went back to a 9 to 5.

In this post of  He Said/She Said who do you feel was right?

Should the husband have stuck to his guns and maintained his business?

Or, the wife for wanting him to have more structure and work as many hours as she was.

Who should Stay Home? The High Income Wife or the Do-Gooder Husband?

In this version of She Said vs. He Said there is a dilemma going on in 22% of the homes across the country according to a Pew Research Center study? When the wife makes clearly more money than her husband, who should stay home when their child is sick.  This decision is a challenge to make without knowing all the information about my story, so let me set it up for you.

I had a client that wanted me to serve as mediator over a particular issue. She has a high pressure, profile job as an office manager for a financial institution. He has a Master’s Degree in Non-Profit Management and is instrumental in running a small non-profit organization.

Early in the morning, they find out their daughter is running a high fever and there is no chance that she will be able to go to daycare. They discuss who will stay home with her for the day. Knowing that his job is more flexible, usually can stay home, but on this day he has to prepare for an upcoming event that is the next day and since he has been out of the office must go in. She has a very important meeting that involves some important changes that will affect the office, and with her affinity for keeping her boss on an even keel and bringing peace to these types of situations feels that she should go in.

Who should Stay Home? The wife who makes more money, or the bleeding heart husband who is lucky he has a wife that excels financially so he can do good?

I would love to hear who should stay home and your reason?

If you know the SCORE, you belong!

The NCAA tournament is truly great event, but it’s very harsh. You win or go home. For the past 6 days, you’ve had upsets, last second buzzer beaters and the elite teams exerting their will on the less talented teams. The greatest thing about the tournament is when a cinderalla team gets an opportunity to play into the next weekend. This year’s team is Virginia Commonwealth (VCU). Before the tournament began they were considered barely worthy to be in the tournament over some bigger basketball powers like Virginia Tech and the University of Colorado. They quickly dismantled that myth by being the only team to win 3 games this week rather easily beating USC, my alma mater Georgetown and Purdue.

What made it so special? They believed they could score against those Big 3!

As I stated, this tournament can be harsh, especially if you lose. Our finances can also be harsh. How many of us have been turned down for a credit card, or loan that would have helped us become more independent. Did you know the score, the FICO score that is.

The Fair Isaac Company developed custom software back in the 1980s that helped other companies determine a credit risk based on a number derived from a person’s credit history. This number soon became a standard that was adopted by the three main credit bureaus: Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax. The FICO score ranges between 300 and 850.

Credit Score vs. Credit Report

A credit score and a credit report are two different things, although the credit score ultimately depends on your credit report. Your credit report is simply a detailed account of your credit history. The report will contain information such as:

•Current credit accounts

•Payment history

•Credit inquiries

•Credit utilization

•Bankruptcy

Your credit report itself does not have a FICO number. It is simply a report of your current and past credit history. Most credit history will only go back seven years, although a bankruptcy will stay on your report for ten years. You’re entitled to a free credit report each year and it’s always a good idea to check it annually to make sure it’s correct. Here’s how to get your free credit report.

A FICO credit score is based off of your credit history, but it’s not actually a part of your credit report. Instead, the three major credit bureaus will calculate your FICO based on your credit history they have on file. This means you can have up to three different FICO scores at one time. Your FICO score does not come with your credit report and it isn’t something you’re entitled to annually. You may have to pay a fee to actually receive your score.

What Makes Up a Credit Score

A credit score takes into account a lot of different information from your credit report, but it’s not all treated equally. Some aspects of your credit history are more important than others and will weigh more heavily on your overall score. Your FICO score is essentially made up of the following:

•Payment History – 35%

•Total Amounts Owed – 30%

•Length of Credit History – 15%

•New Credit – 10%

•Type of Credit in Use – 10%

As you can see, the bulk of your credit score comes from your payment history and how much debt you actually have. Those two items account for 65% of your score. So, if you’re really looking to improve your credit score, these are the areas you’ll want to tackle first.

 Why Your FICO Credit Score is Important

We’ve determined what makes up a credit score, but why is it so important? Your credit score will follow you for your entire life and if you are ever trying to borrow money, the lender is going to look at your credit score to determine whether or not to lend money to you. Need to buy a car? They will check your credit score. Looking for a mortgage? You can bet they are checking your credit score. In fact, even some employers are checking credit scores when hiring to possibly determine who would make a good employee.

Not only does your credit score determine whether or not you’ll receive financing, it also determines how much it will cost you to borrow that money. People with higher credit scores are deemed to be less of a risk and therefore will typically receive the lowest interest rates. Those with lower scores are viewed as more of a risk so the bank will offset that risk by lending you money at a higher interest rate. And when you’re talking about larger loans such as buying a vehicle or a home, just an extra interest rate point could add up to thousands, and even tens of thousands of dollars wasted on interest.

Improving Your Credit Score

What happens if you have made some mistakes in the past and now your credit score is low? Don’t worry. The good news is that your credit score is constantly updating, so every month as you begin to make improvements to your credit history, your score will be sure to follow. But keep in mind that items on your report will stay there for seven years, so it will take some time for serious negative marks to eventually disappear completely.

 Thankfully, there are a number of things you can do to improve your credit score. Start with the basics and make sure you’re making all of your payments on time. Remember, payment history is the single greatest factor in your credit score. If you make payments over time, you’ll slowly start to raise that score. Second, reduce your total amount of debt. The second largest impact on your score is how much debt you have, so if you can put a dent in your overall debt you’ll also begin to make some serious headway.

Time to lace up the sneakers. We have a game to play!

Yesterday was a tough day for Louisville and St. John’s who lost their tournament games yesterday. Both had aspirations of going far, but didn’t get it done.

Long Island University which is playing in the tournament for the first time in 14 years is really hyped about their game today against North Carolina. As LIU’s players sit in their lockers before the game may look back and reflect on how they got here in the first place. On the road to success there were many people that sacrificed and provided skills that helped them get here.

When it comes to our finances, we were also provided information that gave us our view on how we handle money. Whether it was stated or hidden, our environment shape our view of finances. Taking that all into account we may be hesitant to be transparent, and share our lack of knowledge about finances in fear it will hurt the team. That’s ok, our partner probably feels the same way. If we play our game, and do our best we have a chance to win.

Here are some questions that will help reveal our issues individually that will help us begin to strengthen our team financially.

Step 1. What messages about money did you receive from childhood? Examine these 5 questions.

  1. Who in your family had the power and control of the situation when it came you money?
  2. What type of fun and happiness came as a result to how money was used in your home?
  3. How did your parents talk about money with themselves?
  4. What was the relationship between success and money in my childhood home?
  5. What were the differences between how your mom and dad handled money?

Step 2. We will look at your individual world view in regards to money and how that shapes your handling of money.

  1. How do my friends, my family and surroundings affect my relationship with money?
  2. How do advertisements, mass media, affect my relationship with money?
  3. What does society tell me about my obligations with money?
  4. What’s the first thing I notice when I see my friends or family?
  5. What would my two best friends tell me is the most important thing about money? What are their relationships with money, like?

Step 3. We will look now at the family voice? Once you have kids, or if you have kids now, the money pressure increases two-fold. So let’s examine these questions?

  1. What does my mate or spouse need financially to have his or her basic needs met?
  2. What do my children need financially to have their basic needs met?
  3. Why does my mate want what she wants? Is it based on family, society, or general desire?
  4. Why do my children want what they want? Is it because of their friends, mass media, or family non-verbal cues? (Only answer if you currently have children)

Take your time, concentrate and be honest. This exercise will go a long way to unlocking your thoughts about money, and how working together as a team will put you in a position of strength.

Time to lace up the Sneakers.WE HAVE A GAME TO PLAY!

Coach Keith

To win this tournament you have to understand your role.

In order to make our run in this tournament we have to know and understand our roles.

When it comes to this tournament, our team will need that “go-to-guy” the person that will take the last shot during crunch time. When it comes to finances, this person is more like the visionary, has a passion for making money and will have strategies to increase our net worth, similar to a Chief Executive Officer in a business. The star player, like the CEO, will bask in the glory, when we win, but will take the heat when we lose.

In order to get the ball to that person, we will need someone to be in the background. Like the CFO, the background guy won’t appear on the front page of the sports section, but is just as important. This person is skilled with managing the flow of the game and has the ability to keep things calm in the closing minutes when the game gets tight. 

When we come together as a team you can’t both be the main scorer. Someone has to do the dirty work like rebounding, be the assist maker, defensive specialist and bench player. Both positions are just as important as the other. When it comes to finances it’s not any different. If both of us are out making all the money, but no one is managing it, making sure the bills get paid or preparing for the future and creating a legacy for our children and grandchildren then we won’t make it far in this tournament. One missed assignment could mean the difference in winning and losing the title.

Now can one person lead the whole team and do it all? Yes, but there are weaknesses in this strategy. If the other person doesn’t know the plays or if we don’t have a back-up plan when the star player can’t score it will affect the outcome of the game. 

Take a look at these assignments and determine which is the best position for you in order to prepare our team for the run to success.

Role:                    Assignments:

Star Player  – Has a clear understanding and vision of finances. Has a passion for finance.

Point Guard/Assist Man – Understands finances, but not the visionary and pays the bills.

Rebounder/Defensive Specialist – Manages the debt, reports on cash flow, pay the taxes and keeps records.

In closing, take your role seriously and embrace it. It’s important to our success.

Coach Keith

Marriage Madness Selection Show

Ok. tourney players..this is what you have been waiting for. Championship Week is over. You have celebrated by coming together as a team and it’s now time to find out what your seeding is in the tournament.

All of you may feel that you are a #1 seed based on how well you are doing on the job, by the fact you make time to go on an exotic vacation every year, or you are able to buy great birthday and christmas gifts. Honestly some of you are limping into this tournament not performing at your best. And if we don’t come together as a TEAM right now, we will not be in this tournament long. I want us to be there until the end. I am committed to getting you there, if you are committed to working hard every game to get there.

So as far as the seedings..here they are. Where are you in this tournament?

  • 1-4 Seed: If you as a couple have a financial plan and you review it with your teammate regularly. You know exactly your net worth is, track your expenses, live within your means and you know what your needs for retirement are. You are the elite in this tournament, but you can be knocked off if you begin to take things for granted and the opponent lightly. As long as we stick with ourplan we will make it to the Finals.
  • 5-8 Seed: As a team we have a great game plan, but are inconsistent in the execution of our plan. We need to review and refocus our efforts on our game plan.
  • 9-12 Seed: We have the potential to win it all, but the ball hasn’t bounced our way. We have the tools to succeed, but we haven’t created our financial plan for sucess. Now is the time to put it all together. We can win this thing!
  • 13-16 Seed: We have no plan and feel we can’t win. We are just feel grateful to be in this tournament. We are the underdog and an early exit is likely. NO WAY! I as your coach am not going to let that happen. If you have the will to win and you believe you can win, anything can happen. I believe in you. Let’s take one practice at a time. One game at a time.

The key to this tournament is to understand the seed we deserve and we know where we should be. By acknowledging the correct seed we can create the proper attack. If we don’t we will surely get bounced from the tournament early. Don’t worry there are a few things we can do to get ready for each game.

  1. Acknowldege that we have weaknesses as a couple when it comes to finances.
  2. Determine where those weaknesses are.
  3. Create a game plan on how we will attack our debt.

Again I say to you..as long as we stick together as a team. WE CAN WIN. Now on the count of three we are going to say “team.’

ONE! TWO! THREE! TEAM! Let’s go out and compete.

Coach Keith

A unexpected mishap can derail your chances at winning “Marriage Madness!”

Brandon Davies, a key contributor to the BYU basketball team was suspended for the remainder of the season due to violating the school’s moral code. Upon hearing the news, BYU promptly got blown out in their next game. Since Davies was the 3rd leading scorer and top rebounder on the team, his abscence will more than likely derail the school’s chances @ winning the title. It happens every year, an injury here, a suspension there affects the team’s run at a national title.

Likewise, if either you are your partner isn’t fully committed to competing in Marriage Madness it will derail your opportunity at possibly winning the Marriage Madness title and gaining Financial Freedom. After reading the last few blogs you still aren’t completely focused, what can you do to correct it?

The goal of competing in Marriage Madness is appropriately stated in the book Financially Ever After by Jeff Opdyke. The goal is to help:

  •  Understand personal finance in the context of family, instead of operating as if you are single.
  • Help you realize you face a rash of  money issues neither of you contemplated while dating (and if you did contemplate them, you recognize that you were – and likely still are – too intimidated to broach the topic without fear of a money fight);
  • Or, you are trying to figure out how to operate financially, how you both use money and how you both communicate with one another about money.

As the coach of BYU will tell his players..I as your coach will tell you, the only chance you have at winning is playing the games and playing to win.