When we often think of a makeover we think about a new wardrobe, cosmetic surgery, or any minor adjustment that will help us feel better about ourselves on the outside. But do we ever think about a relationship makeover? No! We automatically assume that the individual adjustments to our teeth, tummy or our breasts will bring the man of our dreams, when in fact it’s our attitudes about dating and relationships that are the main cause of our obstacles in the first place.
Some of the common attitudes about dating are as follows:
- There are no good men out there.
- Of the few good men that are available, they are either married or gay.
- Men don’t want to settle down, the just want to hit it and keep it movin’.
Have you ever really sat down and wondered where your thoughts about relationships come from? Your attitudes about relationships start to develop before you are even born. According to John Maxwell’s book Attitude 101, there are 6 stages where you develop certain characteristics that impact your attitude.
The first characteristic is your personality. There are four basic temperaments that shape how you view things, Sanguine (extroverted), Choleric (a doer), Melancholic (a perfectionist), Phlegmatic (self-content, kind).
The next characteristic is your environment. Our environment is the first challenger of our belief system. For example, even if we have a positive outlook about relationships, but we live in an environment that challenges that idea, it will begin to chip away at our beliefs.
The final characteristic is what moments we remember in past relationships. If you constantly hear negative words during a tumultuous relationship, they will linger long after the physical pain of the break up.
To start the Makeover process, you must peel away the layers of negativity.
What negative emotions are you holding on to? I would love to hear from you.