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3 Ways Straight-Talk Can Help Your Marriage

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Honey, Does this dress make me look fat? Now that’s a question most of men aren’t willing to tackle because you know that you might have to stretch the truth in order to keep the peace at home. But, your constant stretching may lead you to start doing it on a regular basis. This lack of direct,honest communication may lead to you to not be trusted by your spouse.

How may you ask? Well let’s go back to the dress scenario. Let’s say you answer  like most men do, and tell your spouse she looks wonderful. While your out on the town together, and she catches you looking at other women that walk by,or if you really don’t show her the attention on your date, then she will have a hard trusting you the next time she asks you something important.

According to Stephen Covey’s  The Speed of Trust there are three reasons why it’s important to be truthful and direct when it comes to relating better to your spouse.

Talking straight is the act of being honest. It tells your spouse that if there is any issue or concern she has, she will be able to trust you will give her honest feedback

Talking Straight can help you leave the right impression. – What that means is how you are communicating to her is so clear, there is no room for interpretation on her part.

Talking Straight will save time and aggravation. – Think about all the time and energy you have wasted over your marriage trying to clarify and convince your spouse that you were telling the truth. If you start to develop a posture of straight-talk it will add years to your life.

If you are having a hard time grasping this concept, answer these questions for me.

  1. What keeps you from talking straight. What type of fear comes to mine?
  2. Are you aware of the type of conversations do you have? How often do you spin?
  3. How often do you find yourself explaining your thoughts with your spouse?
  4. Would you ask her to give you feedback?

 

If you are having trouble answering these question, it might be time to contact a coach for support.  If that is you, please contact me at info@strive2succeedcoaching.com

I would love your feedback..Let me know how I’m doing?

 
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Posted by on July 28, 2016 in Truth Series

 

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5 Lessons about your marriage kids Learn by your Example: Part 2 (Integrity)

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In part 2 of 5 Lessons about your marriage kids learn by example is dealing with integrity. As parent, we can’t always choose the type of influence we have on our kids. We can influence them negatively, or positively. So the best thing we can do is to remain true to ourselves. But we must realize how our integrity plays a part in influencing their lives.

Integrity to our spouse. 

In your wedding vows, you usually shout, or some of you reluctantly utter these words, “I take you to be my husband or wife to death do us part.” Currently, only a little more than  half of us take that part of our vows seriously. We live in a society that says, “If it’s broke, don’t fix it, get a new model.”

There may be circumstances that you choose as the reason to get divorce, but you may be showing your kids that if it’s okay to quit divorce, then it’s okay to quit almost anything in your life.

When we decide to get married and then move on to have a family, we are making not only a promise to our wife/husband, but to our kids that we will do whatever it takes to keep the family intact. Since we as human beings aren’t perfect and make mistakes, we may have to work very hard to ensure our children that we won’t  hold those mistakes against our spouses.  

Integrity in our promises to our kids.

Another way our kids learn about integrity is when we make promises to our kids. If we promise to take them on vacation, attend their extra-curricular activity, check their homework, we better keep those promises. When we break them, it shows our kids that integrity isn’t important and it chips away at the type of integrity they should have for themselves. .

Integrity for people in authority.

Finally, the way we talk about people in authority; our President, our public officials, our bosses show our children the type of integrity we have for them. We can teach our kids about integrity not just by what we say, but what we don’t say. Has there ever been a time where your kids repeated something negative you said about someone else?

Are you living a life of integrity for your kids? As an iLoveStrong reader, what are some changes do you have to make to ensure you do?

 

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