I usually don’t blog about the latest events on TV unless absolutely necessary, but a show that I watch had a very important topic that I felt my fellow Strivers would want to discuss.
In last night’s episode of Parenthood, Julia Braverman-Graham, played by Erika Christenson, best known for playing the crazy young Madison Bell on Swimfan confesses to her husband, Joel Graham (Sam Jaeger) that she was kissed by Ed (David Denman from The Office).
What struck me about the issue was the raw emotion that was portrayed when a partner s feelings that their marriage isn’t right becomes realized when the truth is revealed by the other.
Later in the episode, as Julia attempts to reconcile with her husband and to “fix” things as she so often does mentions that she has contacted a marriage counselor for help. Joel vehemently admits that counseling isn’t necessary. He states, “No, I don’t want to see a marriage counselor because the problem isn’t the marriage, the problem is you!” “Ever since you lost your job, I don’t even know who you are.” He ends with, “You want to fix it, but I don’t think it can be fixed.”
Powerful words coming from the man who originally wasn’t the breadwinner in the family due to his wife’s profile job, but was given the opportunity to do step up and he paid for it.
One item I would like to discuss was that he felt that his wife hadn’t been the same since she lost her job, but he never discussed it with her?
Should he have done so? If that happened in your relationship, how would you have address the life change?
On this fun Friday, I know most of you are figuring your Osculating plan (kissing) for the weekend based on yesterday’s post on How to Bring Sexy Back. I just wanted to reiterate these three elements to avoid.
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I would address kissing a little more in-depth. Sorry it has taken me a little longer than expected.
According to the 2009 General Social Survey, which has tracked the social behaviors of Americans since 1972, estimates that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.
Provided there is no medical condition that is causing the problem. I can venture a guess that the art of osculation a.k.a. kissing is one of the missing pieces to solving the sexless marriage issue. If you can somehow revive the lost art of kissing it may lead to other benefits as well.
Here are some reasons to consider:
Kissing will improve your overall health.
1.) Kissing boosts immunity. A recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says kissing may increase a woman’s immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. Otherwise, the bug is relatively harmless in adults. Kissing has long been thought to be a way to pass along bugs and thus strengthen the body’s defenses. With the extra saliva generated from kissing it can wash bacteria off your teeth, which can help break down oral plaque.
2.) Kissing helps you solidify why you picked your mate in the first place. Anthropologist Helen Fisher describes kissing as a “mate assessment tool.” Discover Your “Type” (It Really Exists)
Much of the cortex is devoted to picking up sensations from around the lips, cheeks, tongue and nose. Out of 12 cranial nerves, five of them are picking up the data from around the mouth. It is built to pick up the most sensitive feelings—the most intricate tastes and smells and touch and temperature. And when you’re kissing somebody, you can really hear them and see them and feel them. So kissing is not just kissing. It is a profound advertisement of who you are, what you want and what you can give.
Since kissing has been lacking in the sexless marriage it might also cause you to question why you chose this person to marry.
3.) Kissing burns calories! Depending on different reports, anywhere from 2 to 6 calories a minute.
Kissing can persuade your partner!
1. Being an overall good kisser can persuade your partner to get between the sheets instead of remaining on top of the sheets.
2. Good kissing bring back feelings of bonding and attachment too. Sharing a passionate kiss can re-create and maintain a feeling of connectedness in relationships.
3. Good kissing can also lead to arousal and sex. Passionate make-outs are often necessary (and effective) precursors to further physical intimacy.
Good kissing will require you to brush up on your elements!
1.As so aptly portrayed in the movie Hitch, you’ve got to be all in. Both men and women also found assertiveness attractive in a kisser.
2.Touching, caressing, and general physical can lead to more deeper passionate kisses.
3.Get back to the basics! Closed-mouth kissing initially, with minimal saliva exchange (especially for women). Soft, moist lips were preferable – but a drooling, tongue-down was not. Over time, kissing could work up to greater “passion” and “intimacy”.
In the end if you want to bring sexy back to your marriage. Start with a kiss!
Living off the power of Valentine’s Day, I was looking forward to the long weekend and having time to kiss “PG”, and not just hello and goodbye either. There is just something about long-deep kisses with my wife that really charges me up, especially one’s that are spontaneous. There was only one problem, I was congested and the thought of PG possibly catching some flem during an exchange was enough for her to stay away.
We were able to do other things, but I realized that kissing her, was just as exciting as the other actions of intimacy.
According to a blog by the Huffington Post, Sex, seems to be on everyone’s mind: reasons why you’re not having it, how to get more of it — and maybe more so for those estimated 40 million Americans living in a sexless marriage (defined as having sex less than 10 times a year, according to therapists).
But instead of sprinting back to the bedroom, maybe one should take things slow and start with the basic building block of intimacy: kissing.
Kissing can be “more intimate than having sex” but is one of the first things to go in a long-term or sexlessmarriage, says Jill Blakeway, clinic director of the YinOva Center in New York City and author of the forthcoming book Sex Again: Recharging Your Libido. When kissing falls by the wayside, it’s the first step to losing passion in a relationship, she notes. “Kissing is one of the first ways we connect sexually,” she said. “And then over time it goes down. But there are some physical things that make kissing important. It decreases the level of cortisol, which is a stress hormone and it increases oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. And that’s why, chemically speaking, kissing makes people more relaxed and builds connection. Chinese medicine says that the mouth and the tongue have a connection to the heart. So it’s the same idea. Kissing attaches people to each other.”
So in order to keep your iLOVESTRONG which intimate activity is important to maintaining closeness in your Marriage?
In the next blog we will discuss the health benefits of kissing!
iLoveStrong 