I have a Resolute Heart! What about You?

As I was looking at the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center, I ran across this interesting study called the Heart Chart. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot from the TwoofUs.org have done some extensive research and created this Heart Chart.

The Heart Chart reveals what you are saying about love and marriage and provides you with customized information related specifically to your marriage mindset.

Why is this important? With the U.S. divorce rate is at an all-time high, with half of all marriages ending in divorce or permanent separation. A broad consensus has emerged among researchers that changes in the American family structure have had significant negative impacts on the well-being of  children as well as adults. Previous research has shown that the implications for children who experience the divorce of their parents include elevated risk for conduct disorders and psychological problems; low self-esteem; a greater likelihood of obtaining a lower level of education and lower-status jobs; and greater potential to experience trouble in their own marriages.

Individuals between the ages of 18-30 are looking for partners who fit into their lifestyles and complement their personal goals and individual needs, but many are not confident that they possess the tools to attain this goal.

Before you get serious, take this quiz (see link below), to see where your partner’s heart is?

THE HEART QUIZ.

Here is the key to my Heart!

I would love to hear what sort of Heart you are.

Coach Keith

Fun Friday- Elements to Avoid while Osculating!

On this fun Friday, I know most of you are figuring your Osculating plan (kissing) for the weekend based on yesterday’s post on How to Bring Sexy Back. I just wanted to reiterate these three elements to avoid.

  1. Basic Hygiene is the key
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2. Start Slow

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3. Be Gentle

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Have a great weekend.

Coach Keith

Want bring sexy back into your Marriage? Osculate!

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I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I would address kissing a little more in-depth. Sorry it has taken me a little longer than expected.

According to the 2009 General Social Survey, which has tracked the social behaviors of Americans since 1972, estimates that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.

Provided there is no medical condition that is causing the problem. I can venture a guess that the art of osculation a.k.a. kissing is one of the missing pieces to solving the sexless marriage issue.  If you can somehow revive the lost art of kissing it may lead to other benefits as well.

Here are some reasons to consider:

Kissing will improve your overall health.

1.) Kissing boosts immunity. A recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says kissing may increase a woman’s immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. Otherwise, the bug is relatively harmless in adults. Kissing has long been thought to be a way to pass along bugs and thus strengthen the body’s defenses. With the extra saliva generated from kissing it can wash bacteria off your teeth, which can help break down oral plaque.

2.) Kissing helps you solidify why you picked your mate in the first place. Anthropologist Helen Fisher describes kissing as a “mate assessment tool.” Discover Your “Type” (It Really Exists)

Much of the cortex is devoted to picking up sensations from around the lips, cheeks, tongue and nose. Out of 12 cranial nerves, five of them are picking up the data from around the mouth. It is built to pick up the most sensitive feelings—the most intricate tastes and smells and touch and temperature. And when you’re kissing somebody, you can really hear them and see them and feel them. So kissing is not just kissing. It is a profound advertisement of who you are, what you want and what you can give.

Since kissing has been lacking in the sexless marriage it might also cause you to question why you chose this person to marry.

3.) Kissing burns calories! Depending on different reports, anywhere from 2 to 6 calories a minute.

Kissing can persuade your partner!

1. Being an overall good kisser can persuade your partner to get between the sheets instead of remaining on top of the sheets.

2. Good kissing bring back feelings of bonding and attachment too. Sharing a passionate kiss can re-create and maintain a feeling of connectedness in relationships.

3. Good kissing can also lead to arousal and sex. Passionate make-outs are often necessary (and effective) precursors to further physical intimacy.

Good kissing will require you to brush up on your elements!

1.As so aptly portrayed in the movie Hitch, you’ve got to be all in. Both men and women also found assertiveness attractive in a kisser.

2.Touching, caressing, and general physical can lead to more deeper passionate kisses.

3.Get back to the basics! Closed-mouth kissing initially, with minimal saliva exchange (especially for women). Soft, moist lips were preferable – but a drooling, tongue-down was not. Over time, kissing could work up to greater “passion” and “intimacy”.

In the end if you want to bring sexy back to your marriage. Start with a kiss!

LoveStrong Question of the Day! – Do you want to go to a game to get a ring?

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Yesterday at the New York Knicks game vs. the Miami Heat, an unsuspecting woman was blindsided with the proposal from her boyfriend on the Jumbotron. On ESPN’s Mike N Mike this morning, they were killing the guy for his unromantic gesture.

As a guy, we think about how we can really make a splash to our potential mate, especially if that isn’t normally our style. Before, I was going to propose to my wife, I had a grand gesture in mind, but I had the sense to consult my wife’s best friend first. I am glad that I did because the event would have turned out horrible for the both of us.

What do you ladies/gents think? Is a public proposal over the at a sporting event a good idea? What is the best public proposal you have ever seen? I liked this one.

Coach Keith

Fun Friday! Do you know your spouse thoughts?

The cartoon speaks for itself..On this Fun Friday, do you feel you don’t understand your spouse? What are some of the things he/she does that makes you SYH (shake your head) sometimes? disconection

Looking forward to your comments!

I Live..I Learn..ILOVESTRONG.

Coach Keith

Seeking Forgiveness! Is it only a MAN thing?

Tomorrow I will be hosting my LOVESTRONG Couples Webinar on forgiveness. I thought I would get a discussion going with some funny cartoons.

Which way does your man ask for forgiveness the most?
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forgiveness #3

Forgiveness#2

One thing I noticed that it was only men featured in the cartoon seeking forgiveness. How do women ask for forgiveness?

 

keith_dentKeith Dent is the President of Strive 2 Succeed Coaching Services. He hosts LOVESTRONG couples webinar this Sunday at 9 pm. To register, sign up at http://www.anymeeting.com/StriveSucceed1. Or call in the day of the show at 213-416-1560 code: 526795745.

iLOVESTRONG loves kissing! Do You?

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Living off the power of Valentine’s Day, I was looking forward to the long weekend and having time to kiss “PG”, and not just hello and goodbye either. There is just something about long-deep kisses with my wife that really charges me up, especially one’s that are spontaneous. There was only one problem, I was congested and the thought of PG possibly catching some flem during an exchange was enough for her to stay away.

We were able to do other things, but I realized that kissing her, was just as exciting as the other actions of intimacy.

According to a blog by the Huffington Post, Sex, seems to be on everyone’s mind: reasons why you’re not having it, how to get more of it — and maybe more so for those estimated 40 million Americans living in a sexless marriage (defined as having sex less than 10 times a year, according to therapists).

But instead of sprinting back to the bedroom, maybe one should take things slow and start with the basic building block of intimacy: kissing.

Kissing can be “more intimate than having sex” but is one of the first things to go in a long-term or sexless marriage, says Jill Blakeway, clinic director of the YinOva Center in New York City and author of the forthcoming book Sex Again: Recharging Your Libido. When kissing falls by the wayside, it’s the first step to losing passion in a relationship, she notes. “Kissing is one of the first ways we connect sexually,” she said. “And then over time it goes down. But there are some physical things that make kissing important. It decreases the level of cortisol, which is a stress hormone and it increases oxytocin, which is a bonding hormone. And that’s why, chemically speaking, kissing makes people more relaxed and builds connection. Chinese medicine says that the mouth and the tongue have a connection to the heart. So it’s the same idea. Kissing attaches people to each other.”

So in order to keep your iLOVESTRONG which intimate activity is important to maintaining closeness in your Marriage?

In the next blog we will discuss the health benefits of kissing!

Have a great day!

I Live, I  Learn and iLOVESTRONG!

Coach Keith

Fun Friday..Day after Valentine’s

I hope everyone had a great night for Valentine’s Day? Please leave a comment and let me know how everything went last night? What was your favorite part of the evening, regardless if everything didn’t go as planned.  If your night was just plain awful, refer to yesterday’s post, How to Survive Valentine’s Day.  On this FUN Friday, I thought I would highlight, how some people really feel about Valentines; Day. I hope this isn’t you? Have a great iLOVESTRONG weekend.

Coach Keith

 

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Why isn’t your Spouse creative this Valentine’s Day? Blame the Sportstalkshows!

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According to most Arbitron ratings across the country, SportsTalk radio is usually at the top among men 25-54.

Ladies, don’t be surprised if you receive gifts from Vermont Teddy Bear‘s Hunka Love Bear, or flowers for Valentine’s Day,since they have inundated the sports radio market with commercials the past week as the gift you want on the special day.

In reality most men aren’t sure what to buy. They will fall into two categories, trying to find the perfect gift, or not really having a clue and getting something at the last minute. What I do know, they want to buy a gift that will lead them to staying up really late and receiving some really special candy.

Since, most men aren’t going to ask, iLoveStrong will ask for them. What would you like your spouse to give you for Valentine’s Day. Please answer the iLOVESTRONG Valentine’s Day poll.