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Tag Archives: Illness

Who should Stay Home? The High Income Wife or the Do-Gooder Husband?

In this version of She Said vs. He Said there is a dilemma going on in 22% of the homes across the country according to a Pew Research Center study? When the wife makes clearly more money than her husband, who should stay home when their child is sick.  This decision is a challenge to make without knowing all the information about my story, so let me set it up for you.

I had a client that wanted me to serve as mediator over a particular issue. She has a high pressure, profile job as an office manager for a financial institution. He has a Master’s Degree in Non-Profit Management and is instrumental in running a small non-profit organization.

Early in the morning, they find out their daughter is running a high fever and there is no chance that she will be able to go to daycare. They discuss who will stay home with her for the day. Knowing that his job is more flexible, usually can stay home, but on this day he has to prepare for an upcoming event that is the next day and since he has been out of the office must go in. She has a very important meeting that involves some important changes that will affect the office, and with her affinity for keeping her boss on an even keel and bringing peace to these types of situations feels that she should go in.

Who should Stay Home? The wife who makes more money, or the bleeding heart husband who is lucky he has a wife that excels financially so he can do good?

I would love to hear who should stay home and your reason?

 
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Posted by on May 31, 2012 in She Said/He Said

 

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Relationship Gratitude – (Day 28) A check up a year, keeps the one you Love near!

Take stock in your health and your partner’s health.

If you, or your partner hasn’t had a check-up in a while, ask each other why?

If you hear any of these answers, it might be time to make an appointment.

  • I believe that if I ignore it, it will go away
  • I don’t want the doctor to tell me something I don’t want to hear
  • It’s just not the time to be sick, there’s no time on my schedule
  • I really can’t stand anything to do with going to the doctor and I associate doctors with weakness.

By getting a check up every year, you can detect illnesses sooner like cancer and diabetes.

Be thankful for the gift of good health and acknowledge the struggles of those who are not as healthy.

 
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Posted by on November 28, 2011 in 30 days of Gratitude

 

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The Answer is Definitively Yes! W.W.W.

If you didn’t notice yesterday, the National Football League designates all the games in the month of October by promoting the players to wear Pink. The fact is Breast Cancer can be traumatic for your spouse, especially since if there is no history of cancer in your family.

So besides wearing a Pink Ribbon, or participating in as many Breast Cancer Events, what does your spouse really need from you. (Excerpt from Pam Stephan (About.com)

1. Be There

The person with breast cancer needs you now more than ever. But the patient won’t be fun to be with all the time. So, don’t give into the temptation to hide from the situation by getting busier with work, hobbies, or other things that keep you away from the patient. It’s no fun holding a woman’s head while she loses her cookies, or holding her hand just before she goes into surgery. But she’ll remember what you did for her later.

2. Advocate

Though she may be a fighter by nature, a woman with breast cancer is often in no shape to battle hospital bureaucracies, insensitive doctors, thoughtless nurses, or anyone else, especially you. It’s your job to take her side and ask the hard questions, pound the receptionist’s desk when you’re being ignored, and act in her best interests. Even the best medical care personnel get too busy or preoccupied. And when that happens, you need to act to make sure your patient gets the care she needs.

3. Organize

Maybe you’re not a born organizer. But you can keep track of doctor’s appointments, medications, prescriptions, hospital bills, test reports, and the hundreds of other pieces of paper that a typical treatment sequence for breast cancer generates. Not all of these papers are important, but you don’t want to lose the ones that are. And your patient will be relieved not to have to keep track of them herself.

4. Encourage

There will be times when you both feel like crying. Go ahead. But make sure you’re the one handing out the hankies, not your patient. She needs an emotional anchor, and you’re it, whether you like it or not. Sometimes not saying anything is better than saying the wrong thing. But if you’re there, advocating, and organizing, your actions tell her that you care, even if you don’t have the words to say it.

5. Act Normal

Whatever is normal for you, that is. Cancer doesn’t mean the world has to grind to a halt. If you and the patient have normal routines and things you enjoy doing, try to keep them up to the extent possible. But always be sensitive to physical fatigue, emotional stress, or other reasons for not doing things you used to do, and give into the needs of your patient.

6. Be Honest

Most people today would rather hear the truth about their medical condition than a sweetened-up lie. This doesn’t mean being needlessly cruel, however. When you both face the same facts together, whatever they are, you can act together and stay together through the treatment.

7. Don’t Leave

If you’re like most men, you look to your wife or girlfriend to supply needs or wants you have for affection, companionship, and sex. Some guys have the attitude that, “If a woman can’t give me what I want anymore in these departments, I’d better drop her and find another one.” This is the absolutely worst thing you can do to her at this vulnerable point in her life. A woman can get over cancer, but she’ll never get over the deep and lasting emotional injury you’ve given her if you abandon her now. And neither will you. Don’t do it. Stay with her, even if you’re not that happy with the situation. You’ll both be better off together than you’d be in Splitsville.

8. Ask Your Friends For Help

The two of you don’t have to do it all by yourselves. Friends, neighbors, relatives are there to be asked for help. Not all of them will, but you will be surprised at what some people will do if you just ask them. Seek their help in driving to appointments, staying with the patient while you’re at work, or doing errands you normally do but don’t have time for anymore.

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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