6 Step Plan To Get Your Husband Off the Bench and Into The Game.

Ladies! Has your frustration returned now that Valentine’s Day is over and your husband is back to chillin’ on the couch watching countless hours of sports.

Do you ever wonder what is it about sports that men love so much? If you are still befuddled by this question the next time you get in your car and go to the store, turn on your local sports radio station. You will hear grown men so excited and passionate about getting their point across about a sports moment that happened days before sometimes even years. These men will wait up to 30 minutes to make sure they do so.

Men love sports because it’s fun, spontaneous, thrilling and exciting. Isn’t that how you want your marriages to be? Often times it’s the opposite, boring, and predictable.

So what do you have to do to win at the Game of Love? Here is a 6-step game plan to get your marriage back on track.

1. Have a powerful slogan

Every season, teams that excel have powerful slogans to remind them of the goal of winning. In 2017, the Cleveland Cavaliers slogan for the playoffs was “Defend the Land”. So as a family you should come up with a slogan that defines who you are as a family and reminds each other why you are commitment.

2. Constantly reminding him his importance on the team.

On any given team, there players that don’t get a lot of credit, but are the essential to winning and losing. Your husband may be that guy. He may not be overly flashy, or the life of the party. He just gets the job done. You should remind him that his role is valuable and vital to your success as a couple.

3. To stay at the top takes work.

Your wedding with all the pomp and circumstance is like the ultimate championship game. Staying on top takes work, so you must challenge him not to get complacent. Treat your time together like practice where you learn new things about each other and make it routine.

4. Know when to call a time-out?

In any given game, you can feel the momentum shift to the other side. The coach will call a time-out in order for the team to rest, re-group and reassess the game plan.  You should do that in your marriage, especially if you feel the momentum shifting and it’s inevitable that they will. If you see your husband starts to become disengaged, no energy or just plain angry, or you aren’t happy. Don’t be afraid to call a time-out. If you let things go, you may lose.

5. Treat sex like a game.

Sex to a man is like a conquest. Treat it like one. In the bedroom, men feel great when you enjoy sex just as much as he does. It makes him feel accomplished. Overtime it gets harder and harder to set aside to enjoy this part of marriage. Do things like trash-talking (i.e. flirting), putting on your best outfit and creating a build-up to the main event.

6. Treat the kids like the rookies.

Your kids are just like tiny adults. They are going to need to understand the family slogan in order to thrive and excel. As co-captain of the team it’s the responsibility of both of you to give them the tools they will need to be successful. Make sure you challenge them, give them a voice and most of all have fun.

Working as a team is never easy. It takes commitment to a desired goal, discipline, motivation, trust and a few lucky bounces of the ball. By treating your marriage more like a game, your husband can truly understand the importance of his role and will work to win.

Keith Dent is a relationship, life coach at www.strive2succeedcoaching.com . He has appeared on sites like The Good Men Project, MamMia and The Real Dad’s Network and is the author of the In The Paint – How to Win at the Game of Love.

In the Trenches: How 5 leadership qualities from Tom Brady can help improve your relationship!

If anyone could’ve have thrown in the towel this year it would be New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

Gone are Wes Welker (signed with the Broncos), Brandon Lloyd (released in March, still unsigned) and Danny Woodhead (now with the Chargers). Tight ends Rob Gronkowski andAaron Hernandez could be sidelined for completely different reasons; the former is recovering from his latest surgery — this time on his back — and the latter was arrested Wednesday, charged with murder and released by the team.

Instead, he turned his obstacles into triumph, as the Patriots clinched the AFC East division title for the fifth straight year and is trying to gain the #1 seed in the final week of the season.

You may wonder despite the obstacles Tom Brady faced at the beginning of the year, how was he still able to be great. Perhaps 2013, wasn’t the best year for your marriage or relationship and you are hoping that it returns to greatness. You might want to take a page from Tom Brady’s leadership style to help your relationship get back on track.

1. Work hard. We’ve heard that marriage/relationships are hard work and yet we still might not do what the work that is necessary in our relationships. Tom Brady sets the tone by working hard every day and pays attention to the littlest details.
2. Takes control, but doesn’t take over. One issue that may challenge our relationship is if we feel that our partner isn’t working hard enough around certain things i.e. the household, or raising the children, we may just take control of the situation and do it ourselves. What makes Tom Brady great as a leader is that he knows when to step in, when to pull back and when to motivate the entire team. He also knows when to let others do their job and hold them accountable for it.
3. Takes ownership for his mistakes. Tom Brady knew this year would be different. As we stated earlier, Brady had lost his top five receivers. With new receivers like Aaron Dobson and Kenbrell Thompkins, he understood their would be some growing pains and frustration. Did he throw them under the bus, when they didn’t meet his expectations, no! He took ownership for his own failures. Earlier in the season he stated,

   “I’m not making all the right plays, either,” Brady told WEEI radio. “It’s not like the rookie receivers are messing up all the time — no, not at all. Look, I’ve been really able to count on those guys. They’ve done an incredible job. I think we’ve got to improve in all aspects of our offense, and that will hopefully remove some of the burden that is fallen on the receivers right now. We have a lot of veteran players that aren’t playing right now, too, that if they were playing, the burden would be spread around to different guys who have actually been able to, would shoulder a lot of that responsibility that’s now fallen on the younger players.

   “And the younger players are doing a great job. They’re working really hard. Their attitude is great. It’s been fun to work with them. Hopefully it all pays off in November and December when if we can ever get to a point

   

    where we have a lot of our guys back and healthy and playing really well.”

4. Communication. Communication isn’t just about talking to each other, it’s much more. It’s knowing and understanding your partners non-verbal cues and trying to get on the samepage. This year when working with the new receivers, Tom Brady took on a new role as teacher to constantly instill what the expectations were and how patience and constant practice would pay dividends toward the end of the season when it counted most.
5. Make time for your priorities. Finally on order for your marriage/relationship to get back on track, it must become a priority. When Tom Brady is on the field, he is working and it’s all business. When he is off the field, it’s all about family.

If your relationship was a little rocky this past year, what quality from Tom Brady can you use to get back on track for 2014.

Coach Keith