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Relationship Gratitude Day 26 – Any Sex is Good Sex!

If you have been married long enough, you have been in a “sexless marriage” at some point in your life. If you are still at that point, acknowledge it and work with your partner to change.

Remember how you just had to look at each other. Soon your clothes would be flying off and you would be banging each so hard inaudible sounds were coming out of your mouth.

As a couple, decide what sort of foreplay, or flirtatious acts you need to do for the day in order to guarantee you will have sex this evening.

If you are struggling with getting back on the bike. Here are some tips that will spice up the evening as mentioned by the Dr. John Gottman, co-founder of the Gottman Institute and author of such books The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; The Relationship Cure; Why Marriages Succeed or Fail.

1. Go to a movie this week, sit at the back of the movie theater, and make out as if you were teenagers again.
2. Surprise your partner this week at work with a bouquet of flowers and tell them how much you appreciate them.
3. Take time touching each other with the rule that there will be no intercourse, only pleasuring one another. See if you can resist your partner.
4. Make playful bets over the course of the day with your partner. The winners get exactly what they want from their partner.
5. Play a game of strip poker with your partner this tonight.
6. Watch a movie together tonight that has a passionate sex scene. Half way through the scene, pause the movie and make love.
7. Unplug all electronic devices for the evening and just talk to one another. Try to be a good listener. Remember, better friends make better lovers.

I would love to hear how this worked for you minus the intricate details.

Happy SEXING!

Coach Keith

 
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Posted by on November 26, 2011 in 30 days of Gratitude

 

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When it comes to Love, don’t miss a day!

One of my favorite quotes from Wendy Williams is, “You miss a day, you miss a lot.” You know what’s profound about that statement? We apply it when we miss a great TV show, sporting event, a night out with our PEEPS, or some juicy gossip. Rarely do we apply it when it comes to “making love” to our spouse.  We always figure, we can do that after the game, when the kids are sound asleep, or when I am not so tired and I feel sexier.

The thing is if you are waiting for the sexually charged energy to just appear, you will be waiting for a long time. It never happens that way, especially in marriage. Energy is created by ACTION. It may be awkward in the beginning, but once you generate energy it can increase in intensity.

So what can yo do to start to generate sexually charged energy that can lead to wonderful lovemaking.

Create an atmosphere of sex!

The intimate music isn’t going to suddenly come on the radio and lights aren’t going to dim to a romantic setting. Start with the simple things like :

  • touching
  • flirty tickling
  • whispering, sweet romantic, or sexually explicity words (depending what your partner likes.)

Reframe your thinking – Quick can be Great.

You know in the movies when you see someone having a “quickie” it always seems so exciting, but when we think about it in real life it seems so boring and unfullfilling we don’t even make the attempt.  Let’s change our way of thinking. It can be the very action that helps break the negative communication barrier between  you and your spouse. Keep this in mind, it doesn’t always have to be about sex. It’s about creating a sexual connection. Some tips I reccomend are:

  • Showering together
  • Massage each other
  • Finding a few minutes to make out before the kids wake up
  • Dance to your favorite Slow Song or Wedding Song.

Create a Sexually Charged Plan.

Finally, we think of planning like a business meeting that we have to attend. If you hate planning anything, you will stay away from this idea. But, if you put some creativity into the planning it will excite your partner to take action. Some tips that will turn on the energy switch are:

  • Send a nice invitation, RSVP required.
  • Send an explicit text message (personal phone only)
  • For the sport’s fan – creating a picture of you in your partner’s favorite jersey announcing the time of the game will surely get their attention.

 

If you have only a few minutes a day, JUST CONNECT. Before you know it, those few minutes will be the you will never MISS.

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2011 in Marriage Monday Tips

 

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