Harry the time has come. All the guests have arrived. You finished your rehearsal and now that you have a few minutes of quiet time, it’s time to think about 7 things you must do as you prepare for marriage. Yesterday Meghan thought about several things, now it’s your turn.
You didn’t just choose her, she chose you, too! That is very important to understand because that mean Meghan truly is aware of the drama that will consume your lives on an everyday basis. She is ready and willing to take on the challenge and take it on with you.
Embrace her independence. She isn’t expecting this marriage to totally change her life now that she is marrying you. She is going to expect to continue to reach for her goals and to champion her causes like gender equity.
Meghan’s not her family. Just because her dad was allegedly colluding with the paparazzi and her sister is trying to cash in on the fame doesn’t mean that’s her. You fell in love with Meghan for Meghan. Even though it’s nice to have family cohesiveness it doesn’t mean the marriage won’t work if you don’t.
You can lean on her for support. You know there were times where you suffered from depression. Being married and eventually a father has its own set of pressures. Don’t think you need to take that on all by yourself. Have the courage and be vulnerable enough to share these issues with Meghan when they bubble to the surface. She will hold you up.
There will still be times where she will need your protection. Even though Meghan is a very strong, centered, independent woman, keep in mind she is the one making the biggest adjustment. She’s moving to a new country, putting her career temporarily on hold in order to acclimate herself to a whole new set of norms. Be vigilant when you see things are getting overwhelming. That is what a good husband should do.
Be Patient. Things may not click in right away and she may need to take a break and return to the U.S. early in the marriage. It’s a big adjustment.
At the end of the day it’s just the two of you. Once the wedding is over and you strip away all the pomp and circumstance, it will just be you and Meghan. Enjoy getting to really know her and growing old with her.
This weekend there is another royal wedding. Prince Harry is marrying Meghan Markle. This is sure to be a royal wedding like no other. One reason is that Meghan was born in the United States and two she is of mixed race. Folks are already fascinated to see if there will be any more interesting things that happen during this event. This wedding has created a lot of hoopla and fanfare as England and the world prepare for this event.
Even though this event has already been highly publicized, this is only the beginning of the type of media coverage they will receive during their marriage journey. Prior to the wedding the couple has also been receiving pre-marital coaching in order to help them navigate through all of the challenges they may face.
As a relationship coach, if given the opportunity there are 7 important topics Meghan would need to understand going into the marriage.
Think about any media event and multiply it by 100. – The coverage and the excitement over every move in your marriage will be covered. I know you are used to some of it during your time as a celebrity, but it’s even bigger. Lean on Harry when you begin to feel overwhelmed. He will help you navigate these challenges.
Remain independent – You have built a career for yourself as well as a platform. You your new title to make some of the changes that you have only dreamed of.
Utilize the 3 C’s (Communicate, Compromise, Compassion). Marriage in general is challenging enough, especially in the early years. Understanding how to best communicate, compromise and how to show compassion can go a long way to getting through the bumpy episodes.
Remember, he chose you! Prince Harry had the opportunity and the access, he chose you to be his wife over everyone. This was different than his father, who was ultimately in love with his current wife Camilla. This is important, especially when the paparazzi or just the haters try to put a wedge between the two of you.
Show Respect – This will be a key component to the success of your marriage. Men always want to feel like they are respected even if he is a prince or a pauper. We tend to think that respecting him in public is sufficient, but don’t forget to respect his abilities, his judgement and his voice. There is no quicker way for a man to fall out of love if he doesn’t feel respected.
Enjoy the journey and be present. – Part of being present is doing one thing at a time. You will easily get sucked into many engagements for the royal family and will forget other things. Understand that sometimes, you will have to say NO. It will be up to Harry to understand and protect your need for your time. According to Michael Formica, psychotherapist and author of 5 Steps for Being Present states that being present is, in a sense, a meditation without meditating. The stillness here, though, comes from action – breathing, attending, witnessing, releasing and breathing again.
Doing these things early in your marriage, Meghan will help you stay on the right track. Stay Tuned for tomorrow as I provide the 7 tips on What Harry Must Do for His Marriage to Thrive.
Keith Dent is a relationship, life coach at Strive2Succeed Coaching. He is the author of the In The Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love and his work has appeared on sites like The Good Men Project, MamaMia, and The Real Dad’s Network. If this is you and you feel you are having trouble telling your partner about that you are cheating, contact me via email and let’s have a chat.