You or your partner at times should as this question, “Do I want to be perceived as a person that is focused and under control. If the answer is yes then you must look the part before you can play the part.
A partner that gives off signals of vulnerability and insecurity will not act the part. Ultimately you or your partner and eventually your children will recognize the signals.
Wearing one’s heart on your sleeve all the time can be dangerous. Why would any spouse want to project through his/her posture and movement the language of frustration, uncontrolled anger, self-pity, fear, or complacency. You would not, I hope. So by the mere fact that your body is projecting these signals verifies you are distracted and it’s affecting everyday life.
The interesting thing is you may not be aware of the signals you are giving off, but the people around you are.
Take a basketball player who is so confident that it doesn’t matter how, or where he shoots he knows it’s going to go in. But when he is going bad, he is reluctant to shoot, or will constantly look to pass the ball to others, even though he is wide open. Now, the defense, or the person guarding that player will almost taunt him to shoot because in his heart, he knows that he won’t because he has lost confidence.
If a marriage, it is a vital part of communication that you learn to pick up on your partner’s cues. Remember 55 percent of communication happens through body language. This includes body and facial orientation, posture, shifting, leaning and touching. The ability to assign meaning to your partner’s body language can improve both emotional and physical intimacy and help your marriage thrive.
Over the course of the week, think about your body language and the messages that it sends to your spouse. .Although it may feel hard at first, concentrate on expressing good feelings and appreciation through body language. Here are some ideas of where to start.
- Add a good-bye hug and kiss before work.
- Add a sustained kiss, not a peck
- Show admiration and interest in your partner through your eyes
- Lean forward to show good listening skills when communicating with your spouse
- Evaluate how often you fold arms across the chest like a barrier
- Relax and smile with mouth, cheeks and eyes