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The 12 Fights Every Couple Must Conquer to Have a Strong Marriage!

When you’re in the honeymoon phase of your marriage there is no argument that will derail your love because the feelings are so intense and the connection is so passionate.

If you are fortunate enough to get through the honeymoon phase as most married couples do, there are 12 arguments that almost every marriage goes through if you want to last.

The What are You Doing Fight?

This is probably the first fight you will have after the honeymoon phase. This is the fight were the intense love has worn off and the idiosyncracies of your partner starts to wear on your nerves.

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The Proving Your Right Fight!

This type of fight starts when each couple’s views on the relationship from their own point-of-view. Each person will expend tremendous amounts of energy making sure their point is heard, but usually, nothing gets resolved.

The You’re Nagging and I’m not listening Fight.

The type of fight occurs when a “What Are You Doing?” Fight goes unresolved. The frustrated partner then ramps up the emotions to the point where the other partner tends to ignore it.

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The When are You Going To Do The( Insert Chore Here) Fight!

When household responsibilites that were once 50/50 in a relationship have now become one-sided. This fight is usually an undercurrent of what is really going on. It’s about the expectations of the relationship and feeling appreciated.

The He/She Better Do Right By My Birthday Fight!

When the special time to show appreciation turns into the same old boring celebration. This fight usually occurs because no matter what, Partner B does, he/she will never meet the expectations of Partner A.

 

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The Bad Reputation Fight!

Because you’ve argued about the same thing so many times you stay in defense mode instead of getting to the core of the problem. This argument is hard to overcome because the defenses you have built up over time keeps you from getting to the core of the issue.

 

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The You Don’t Care About Me Fight!

When a fight falls on deaf ears and Partner A feels that Partner B doesn’t care enough to do anything to change it.

 

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Parenting Differences Fight!

When your personality differences become a problem when it comes to raising your kids.

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The Money Fight!

When the an individuals thoughts and priorities about money aren’t discussed and agreed upon.

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The Sex Fight!

When the anger, arguing and acrimony about sex turns into an argument.

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The In-Laws

When you don’t have a plan on how you will interact with each other’s families affects your relationship.

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In order to conquer any of these 12 arguments, you have to work at figuring out what is the core issue you are mad about and communicating it to your partner so you can have to marriage journey that you want.

 

Keith Dent is a relationship and life coach at Strive2Succeed Coaching and the author of “In The Paint: How to Win at the Game of  Love.” His work has appeared on The Good Men Project, MamaMia, and The Real Dad’s Network. If you’d like to figure out the type of relationship that is best for you, give him a shout via email at info@strive2succeedcoaching.com

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

14 Quotes That Highlight The Traits Needed For Today’s Dad.

In a recent article, Do Father’s Really Make A Difference, it’s clear that when a father and mother live together, the kids perform better in school, and have lower rates of delinquency and substance.

But, it’s not about just being present. The role model a father can play can help a child feel connected and learn lessons that will strengthen them.
So what are some of those personality traits that will do just that? Here are 14 of the best quotes that will describe the traits you need to make a difference in your child’s life.

1.Patience

Your kids will test you as they grow and mature. Having patience is essential.

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You will even need Patience with yourself. Don’t waver when things get hard. Stay the course.

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2. Values

When you have values that are rooted in something higher than yourself it guides your decision making.

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Having strong values not only helps you share yourself, but also helps you pass down your legacy to your children.

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3. Open-Minded

Being open-minded means you understand you’re raising children than yourself. Be able to teach as well as learn.

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Being open-minded enough to express their own thoughts and pursue their own dreams and goals will help your children thrive.

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4. Loving

Consistently showing love to your family is vital. Your kids will do better in school, be more empathetic and avoid risky behaviors.

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The more love you show, the more love you will get back. Love is about being vulnerable.

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5. Loyalty

Being loyal means you will be there no matter what, especially during the hard times.

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When your family gets attacked by life, a loyal father must hang in there. It’s what makes the family stronger.

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6.Honesty

Relationships are built on trust and being honest. It’s not about being perfect, but you must do what you say you are going to do.

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When you are honest with your children, they will feel safe and share their life with you. It’s what intimate relationships are built on.

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7. Lead by Example

As the co-leader of the family what he does and the choices he makes will have a ripple effect throughout the entire family. Leading by example is about planting seeds.

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Fatherhood is about being a role model. It will not only make your family happier and more stable, but it will also make the community and the world a better place to live.

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If you’re a father, figure out which of these traits you are missing and work on them. Practice them until you can display them consistently and meaningfully with your family. You will be happy that you did and your kids will be happy too.

If you are stuck with figuring out how to incorporate some of these traits into your life and you need help contact me info@strive2succeedcoaching.com.

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2018 in Parenthood, Uncategorized

 

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7 Things Harry Must Do In Order For His Marriage to Thrive

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Photo by Jeremy Wong on Pexels.com

Harry the time has come.  All the guests have arrived. You finished your rehearsal and now that you have a few minutes of quiet time, it’s time to think about 7 things you must do as you prepare for marriage. Yesterday Meghan thought about several things, now it’s your turn.

  1. You didn’t just choose her, she chose you, too! That is very important to understand because that mean Meghan truly is aware of the drama that will consume your lives on an everyday basis. She is ready and willing to take on the challenge and take it on with you.
  2. Embrace her independence. She isn’t expecting this marriage to totally change her life now that she is marrying you. She is going to expect to continue to reach for her goals and to champion her causes like gender equity.
  3. Meghan’s not her family. Just because her dad was allegedly colluding with the paparazzi and her sister is trying to cash in on the fame doesn’t mean that’s her. You fell in love with Meghan for Meghan. Even though it’s nice to have family cohesiveness it doesn’t mean the marriage won’t work if you don’t.
  4. You can lean on her for support. You know there were times where you suffered from depression. Being married and eventually a father has its own set of pressures. Don’t think you need to take that on all by yourself. Have the courage and be vulnerable enough to share these issues with Meghan when they bubble to the surface. She will hold you up.
  5. There will still be times where she will need your protection. Even though Meghan is a very strong, centered, independent woman, keep in mind she is the one making the biggest adjustment. She’s moving to a new country, putting her career temporarily on hold in order to acclimate herself to a whole new set of norms. Be vigilant when you see things are getting overwhelming. That is what a good husband should do.
  6. Be Patient. Things may not click in right away and she may need to take a break and return to the U.S. early in the marriage. It’s a big adjustment.
  7. At the end of the day it’s just the two of you. Once the wedding is over and you strip away all the pomp and circumstance, it will just be you and Meghan. Enjoy getting to really know her and growing old with her.
 
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Posted by on May 18, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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7 Things Meghan Markle Must Do For Her Marriage To Thrive!

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This weekend there is another royal wedding. Prince Harry is marrying Meghan Markle. This is sure to be a royal wedding like no other. One reason is that Meghan was born in the United States and two she is of mixed race. Folks are already fascinated to see if there will be any more interesting things that happen during this event. This wedding has created a lot of hoopla and fanfare as England and the world prepare for this event.

Even though this event has already been highly publicized, this is only the beginning of the type of media coverage they will receive during their marriage journey. Prior to the wedding the couple has also been receiving pre-marital coaching in order to help them navigate through all of the challenges they may face.

As a relationship coach, if given the opportunity there are 7 important topics Meghan would need to understand going into the marriage.

  • Think about any media event and multiply it by 100. – The coverage and the excitement over every move in your marriage will be covered. I know you are used to some of it during your time as a celebrity, but it’s even bigger. Lean on Harry when you begin to feel overwhelmed. He will help you navigate these challenges.
  • Remain independent – You have built a career for yourself as well as a platform. You your new title to make some of the changes that you have only dreamed of.
  • Utilize the 3 C’s (Communicate, Compromise, Compassion). Marriage in general is challenging enough, especially in the early years. Understanding how to best communicate, compromise and how to show compassion can go a long way to getting through the bumpy episodes.
  • Remember, he chose you! Prince Harry had the opportunity and the access, he chose you to be his wife over everyone. This was different than his father, who was ultimately in love with his current wife Camilla. This is important, especially when the paparazzi or just the haters try to put a wedge between the two of you.
  • Show Respect – This will be a key component to the success of your marriage. Men always want to feel like they are respected even if he is a prince or a pauper. We tend to think that respecting him in public is sufficient, but don’t forget to respect his abilities, his judgement and his voice. There is no quicker way for a man to fall out of love if he doesn’t feel respected.
  • Enjoy the journey and be present. – Part of being present is doing one thing at a time. You will easily get sucked into many engagements for the royal family and will forget other things. Understand that sometimes, you will have to say NO. It will be up to Harry to understand and protect your need for your time. According to Michael Formica, psychotherapist and author of 5 Steps for Being Present states that being present is, in a sense, a meditation without meditating. The stillness here, though, comes from action – breathing, attending, witnessing, releasing and breathing again.

Doing these things early in your marriage, Meghan will help you stay on the right track. Stay Tuned for tomorrow as I provide the 7 tips on What Harry Must Do for His Marriage to Thrive. 

Keith Dent is a relationship, life coach at Strive2Succeed Coaching. He is the author of the In The Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love and his work has appeared on sites like The Good Men Project, MamaMia, and The Real Dad’s Network. If this is you and you feel you are having trouble telling your partner about that you are cheating, contact me via email and let’s have a chat.

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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Couples Conversation

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Check out the latest version of Couples Conversation.  It’s a way to discuss important topics that can affect any and all types of couples.  In this episode Aileen Grenon and I discuss this article What Sleeping with Married Men taught me about InfidelityWhat Sleeping with Married Men taught me about Infidelity, is touching in nonsexual ways important in relationships, especially for men and the changing in gender roles based on the Rocket Mortgage Commercial.

View the show by clicking here.

 
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Posted by on April 22, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

The Smart Woman’s Guide to Falling in Love With a Narcissist

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Every one has to fall in love with a narcissist one time in their life. It’s the best way to experience the total emotional spectrum in a relationship. It will provide everything from the opportunity to be charmed beyond your wildest dreams to eventually getting to the point where you can no longer stand this person.

So what are the steps to finding the narcissist of your dreams?

Step #1 – Make sure you are always dressed like a million bucks

A narcissist believes life is always about him. His appearance will be impeccable when your eyes meet. He will also be very quick to flatter your beauty and intellect because he is envisions the two of you together. So make sure the hair, clothes, nails, etc. are on point.

Step #2 – Be empathetic

Since a narcissist has no real empathy for anything or anyone he will be drawn to the mere fact that you can show that type of emotion towards them.

Step #3 – Let  his shame tug at your heartstrings

Most of the time when you are with him everything will be perfect. But be on guard. There will be a few times when he lets his hair down and talks about his shame. Be prepared to have it tug at your heart. Let me caution you, don’t try to help him acknowledge his shame, though. It may result in a fit of emotional rage.

Step #4 – You must have a fond appreciation for actors

Your narcissist man will be able to emulate anything you want them to be. If it’s a family man, he will dote on his kids and spoil them in all the ways that make him look good. Don’t worry about disciplining them, that will be your job.

Step #5 – Be prepared to move on

No matter how rocky the relationship will be and just when you think your relationship is about to turnaround, he will be out. According to an article in Psychology Today The narcissist loved being in a relationship—but only on his terms.

In the end you will gain clarity on the fact that your narcissist lover has severe emotional issues that you will eventually walk away from so the emotionally healthy one can find you.

Keith Dent is a relationship, life coach at Strive2Succeed Coaching. He is the author of the In The Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love and appeared on sites like The Good Men Project, MamMia, and The Real Dad’s Network. He also cohosts a FB LiveStream show called CouplesConversation.

 
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Posted by on April 19, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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6 Step Plan To Get Your Husband Off the Bench and Into The Game.

Ladies! Has your frustration returned now that Valentine’s Day is over and your husband is back to chillin’ on the couch watching countless hours of sports.

Do you ever wonder what is it about sports that men love so much? If you are still befuddled by this question the next time you get in your car and go to the store, turn on your local sports radio station. You will hear grown men so excited and passionate about getting their point across about a sports moment that happened days before sometimes even years. These men will wait up to 30 minutes to make sure they do so.

Men love sports because it’s fun, spontaneous, thrilling and exciting. Isn’t that how you want your marriages to be? Often times it’s the opposite, boring, and predictable.

So what do you have to do to win at the Game of Love? Here is a 6-step game plan to get your marriage back on track.

  1. Have a powerful slogan

Every season, teams that excel have powerful slogans to remind them of the goal of winning. In 2017, the Cleveland Cavaliers slogan for the playoffs was “Defend the Land”. So as a family you should come up with a slogan that defines who you are as a family and reminds each other why you are commitment.

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  1. Constantly reminding him his importance on the team.

On any given team, there players that don’t get a lot of credit, but are the essential to winning and losing. Your husband may be that guy. He may not be overly flashy, or the life of the party. He just gets the job done. You should remind him that his role is valuable and vital to your success as a couple.

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  1. To stay at the top takes work.

Your wedding with all the pomp and circumstance is like the ultimate championship game. Staying on top takes work, so you must challenge him not to get complacent. Treat your time together like practice where you learn new things about each other and make it routine.

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  1. Know when to call a time-out?

In any given game, you can feel the momentum shift to the other side. The coach will call a time-out in order for the team to rest, re-group and reassess the game plan.  You should do that in your marriage, especially if you feel the momentum shifting and it’s inevitable that they will. If you see your husband starts to become disengaged, no energy or just plain angry, or you aren’t happy. Don’t be afraid to call a time-out. If you let things go, you may lose.

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  1. Treat sex like a game.

Sex to a man is like a conquest. Treat it like one. In the bedroom, men feel great when you enjoy sex just as much as he does. It makes him feel accomplished. Overtime it gets harder and harder to set aside to enjoy this part of marriage. Do things like trash-talking (i.e. flirting), putting on your best outfit and creating a build-up to the main event.

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  1. Treat the kids like the rookies.

Your kids are just like tiny adults. They are going to need to understand the family slogan in order to thrive and excel. As co-captain of the team it’s the responsibility of both of you to give them the tools they will need to be successful. Make sure you challenge them, give them a voice and most of all have fun.

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Working as a team is never easy. It takes commitment to a desired goal, discipline, motivation, trust and a few lucky bounces of the ball. By treating your marriage more like a game, your husband can truly understand the importance of his role and will work to win.

Keith Dent is a relationship, life coach at www.strive2succeedcoaching.com . He has appeared on sites like The Good Men Project, MamMia and The Real Dad’s Network and is the author of the In The Paint – How to Win at the Game of Love.

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2018 in In the Paint, Uncategorized

 

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