In my last post 3 Ways Straight-Talk Can Help Your Marriage we discussed how to regain trust from your spouse. This second behavior is about demonstrating respect.
This is probably one of the biggest ways you can outwardly show trust and the easiest way to damage it.
Respect is the intrinsic value you place on your partner. The higher the value the higher respect you will have for your spouse and vice versa.
You may be wondering how my lack of respect can correlate to how much she trusts you. It could summed up in something as simple as a restaurant selection.
Let’s just say as a couple you alternate between who selects the restaurant for dinner. When you pick the restaurant, you’re wife always gives you the approval for picking the restaurant even though she might not be all the way excited about it. When it’s time for her to pick and you say, “I don’t care!” You are telling your spouse. I don’t really care about you!
That was always one of my wife’s pet peeves. She hates people who don’t have an opinion. So imagine what our marriage would’ve been like if I never gave any feedback on a restaurant selection, or anything else for that matter.
It only takes ONE defining moment to lose the trust of a spouse because of disrespect.
So how can you get it back.
Recall your home training. The little things you do can speak volumes. By saying “Please” and “Thank You”, picking up your dirty underwear and sharing thoughts and your precious stuff can have a huge impact.
Treat her better than you treat other women. – It sounds easy enough, but what if she has seen you holding the door for other women, especially in a work environment. She sure as hell is going to want to experience the same level of treatment, if not more on a regular basis.
Think about the specific things she has asked you to do, but you have stopped doing, or haven’t done at all. It may be something as minute as telling her you’re going to be late coming home from work, or buying a card just because. When you have been in a marriage for a long time as I have, you can take the little things for granted. But, in reality it’s the little things that maintain a marriage.
Respect can go a long way to rebuilding your trust and rebuilding your marriage.
If you feel your spouse has lost respect for you marriage, what are some of the things you need to do to get it back? If you feel stuck, please email Coach Keith at email@example.com.