People that have the anxious attachment style feel they are usually at the mercy of the person that chooses to date them. It’s understandable to believe that because your emotions usually go into overdrive after every successful date with that special person. The magazines and all of the self-help books don’t help in your journey cause you to act in a way that isn’t authentic to your nature. The books usually tell you to play it safe and don’t show too much emotion in the relationship. So what happens is you continuously attract those individuals that you need to reject, avoidants. Avoidant attachment styles will enjoy the aloofness you are trying to project, because that’s their style. As soon as you flip the script on them and bring out your true personality of wanting to get close, they will run for the hills.
In this coaching session, we will give 5 tips that will help you feel empowered on your next date.
- Acknowledge and accept your true relationship needs. – You are who you are. If you clearly understand what needs you have an any relationship, it shouldn’t take long to decipher if your partner will be able to meet those needs. If he/she can’t, move on.
- If you recognize your partner has an avoidant attachment style, cut them loose. You will never be satisfied and will expend a lot of negative energy trying to do so.
- Be your authentic self and use effective communication. – The play it cool attitude, the let’s just let the chips fall where they may mantra doesn’t work for you. Set your expectations up front, so there is no guesswork required.
- Do the opposite! – Instead of thinking that every date you go on, he or she is “the one”, try dating several people without settling on one person very early on. This will allow you to evaluate partners more objectively and rule out those that can’t or won’t meet your needs.
- Don’t overlook security. It may not be as exciting on the surface because there won’t be a lot of drama, but in the long run the relationship may be the most satisfying. So if you find a secure man/woman they may be a keeper.
By utilizing these 5 tips, you will empower yourself to be more successful in your dating life and will help you take your relationship to the next level.