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Mastering Love requires you to switch tracks!

03 Oct

In order to master the track of love we have to move from trying to control the entire relationship when our relationship/marriage is operating on the track of fear.

We operate from the track of fear when we respect our partners, or feel our partners aren’t intelligent enough to know what’s good for them. So we take it upon ourselves to control what things are being said, as well as what actions they take. In essence, we try to control the whole relationship.

No matter how great your relationship may seem to you, the other person brings their own dream, their own perspective of the relationship no matter how hard you try to control it.

Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Mastery of Love, uses the example of a couple playing tennis together. If you are playing tennis, you have a partner, you are a team, and you never go against each other – never. Even if you both play tennis differently, you have the same goal: to have fun together, to play together, to be playmates. If you have a partner who wants to control your game, and she says, “No, don’t play like that; play like this. No, you are doing it wrong,” you are not going to have any fun. Eventually, you won’t want to play with that partner anymore. Instead of being a team, your partner wants to control how you play. And without the concept of a team, you are always going to have conflict. If you see your partnership, your romantic relationship, as a team, everything will start to improve. In a relationship, as in a game, it’s not about winning or losing. You are playing because you want to have fun.

So I ask you, would you rather operate from the track of fear and control the entire relationship, or operate from the track of love and enjoy it. When you move to the track of love, it involves giving more than taking. You will also have to take action when your partner tries to sabotage your relationship based on them living in the track of fear.

In order to live on the track of love remember to:

  • Understand that everyone has their own dream.
  • If you understand your own track of love versus your track of fear, you can clearly shift to the right track when you start to veer of course.
  • Finally, which is the most important, no one else can make you happy!  Happiness is the result of love coming out of you. No matter how many books you read. LOVE in action produces happiness.

What do you think? How has your actions of love created happiness in your life?

Keith Dent is a certified relationship coach, and President of Strive 2 Succeed Coaching Services.  Whether it’s a discussion about who to look for in a soul mate, how to improve my relationship, or a discussion about the opposite sex and creating healthy relationships, couples are looking for someone to acknowledge their issues and provide solutions. I have been working with couples for more than 3 years helping them to explore their passions and dreams in their relationships, and the necessary steps to achieve them. He can be reached at strive2succeed@comcast.net for questions and appointments.
 
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1 Comment

Posted by on October 3, 2012 in Mastery of Love

 

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One response to “Mastering Love requires you to switch tracks!

  1. gold price

    October 15, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    When asked why she put up with the abuse, she said: ‘I absolutely adored him, he was the love of my life. In the beginning he was so lovely, but gently, ever so – I don’t know how they do it, but the abuse is just sort of drip fed, and by the time that you’re in love and completely smitten and I’ve moved in with him and everything, then you think, “Oh my God, he’s a control freak” because I’ve got no friends now.

     

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