Who should Stay Home? The High Income Wife or the Do-Gooder Husband?

In this version of She Said vs. He Said there is a dilemma going on in 22% of the homes across the country according to a Pew Research Center study? When the wife makes clearly more money than her husband, who should stay home when their child is sick.  This decision is a challenge to make without knowing all the information about my story, so let me set it up for you.

I had a client that wanted me to serve as mediator over a particular issue. She has a high pressure, profile job as an office manager for a financial institution. He has a Master’s Degree in Non-Profit Management and is instrumental in running a small non-profit organization.

Early in the morning, they find out their daughter is running a high fever and there is no chance that she will be able to go to daycare. They discuss who will stay home with her for the day. Knowing that his job is more flexible, usually can stay home, but on this day he has to prepare for an upcoming event that is the next day and since he has been out of the office must go in. She has a very important meeting that involves some important changes that will affect the office, and with her affinity for keeping her boss on an even keel and bringing peace to these types of situations feels that she should go in.

Who should Stay Home? The wife who makes more money, or the bleeding heart husband who is lucky he has a wife that excels financially so he can do good?

I would love to hear who should stay home and your reason?

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Keith has over a decade of experience in the field, counseling and coaching individuals, couples, teens and their parents to help them improve their relationships and their ability to achieve their personal goals. For the past seven years Keith has developed specific programs to help teens and their families achieve success in all facets of their lives that may have eluded them in the past. Academics, relationships, athletics, college preparation and applications, goal setting and developing specific plans are areas where working with Keith as a Coach can help young people set the patterns that promise a brilliant future. He works with couples to help them achieve the kind of relationship they envisioned when they first made their commitment to each other. Strengthening communication and revitalizing their understanding and empathy for each other helps couples regain the romance and closeness they long for – even in their everyday “real” world. Having a coach is like having a GPS for life. Keith can help you get a realistic picture of where you are and focus on the best path forward toward your goals. Unlike counseling, coaching focuses on the future, not the past.

5 thoughts on “Who should Stay Home? The High Income Wife or the Do-Gooder Husband?”

  1. This may seem irresponsible on a professional level, but on a family level, the most important level, I think the sick daughter should get to decide who she wants with her.

    One of the big issues these families run into is neglecting their families in the name of providing for them. Where do we draw the line? I think we draw it at 102 degree temps.

    And yes, the husband is doing good but my question is, why aren’t they both fighting over who will STAY with her?

    I don’t mean to seem rude, but I sense screwy priorities in this scenario. When providing nice things for our family and doing “good” begins to cost us basic family value principles, then we need to pause and reestablish our ground zero, our center of gravity and WHY we’re doing what we’re doing.

    1. A very good point. When a sickness is sudden, within the time-frame when both have to go to work, it can be dicey on who goes to work and who stays home. Based on the industry and the job situation at the time, it can be a challenge. Usually the husband and wife trade off, based on the amount of time needed.

  2. Not a great situation either way. But they sound like a family that will make the best decision and nothing they can’t live without will be lost. What a confusing sentence, not even sure if I understand what I said.

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