Maintaining your Relationship is a lot like selling your house!

PG and I and the rest of the fam are trying to move. Our quaint, two-bedroom house in Northern NJ has become quite small for our family of 5 plus a dog and several tropical fish. We were ready to take the leap in 2008, but it was a blessing we stayed put. It was right before the financial crisis and it might have altered our lives forever.

Another reason we hadn’t lef is because all the work you have to put in to get a house ready to sell. It’s a lot like maintaining a healthy marriage.

Step #1 – Look for all the trouble spots.

When you decide you are going to allow other people to view your home, you must determine the little things that might deter a person from buying it. A broken light fixture, or bad lighting just might be the difference from someone liking your house. Your relationship is the same way. If you don’t step back and think about your appearance and how you present yourself to your spouse and communicate it may hold them back from experiencing true intimacy.

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Step #2 – If you are committed, put the work in.

Put the work in and spruce it up. You can do simple things like changing the bedding, getting new curtains, and shower accessories to give your house a fresh new look. Relationships are no different. Sometimes you have to switch things up, in order to make it fresh. Things like going on a adventure, or to a different restaurant may go a long way to help foster a stronger relationship.

Step #3 – If things are really bad, bring in the contractor.

Sometimes the simple things aren’t enough, there are changes that need to be made that you can’t do by yourself. If you are still trying to maintain your daily routine of running a family and working, you can’t always take a step back and do the work necessary to make those changes. We needed a contractor. Relationships are no different. Relationships can be so bad, you may have to bring in a coach to strip away the bitterness, apathy and heartache that’s causing this relationship to not be at it’s best.  He/she can help you put on a fresh coat of love, affection, communication and understanding toward your partner.

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Step #4 – Maintenance, Maintenance and more Maintenance!

This is the hardest job of all. You never know when someone is going to want to see your house. So every morning your house has to look presentable. In relationships, you have to constantly check in with your partner and not take things for granted. I know stepping out of your comfort zone to get an assessment of your marriage can be a little unsettling. Don’t be afraid! You never know when something unexpected happens to change the course of your relationship. By having a strong bond with one another, you can weather those unforeseen circumstances.

Step #5 – Stay positive! It only takes one!

Despite all the progress and the work we have put in, it may take awhile to get an offer. We plan to stay positive and you should too. Your relationship may also progress slowly. Stay encouraged. As long as you are following the steps, the changes will come and your relationship will be stronger than ever before.

Strivers! Make it a great week.

I will keep you posted on the house.

Coach Keith

Published by

ilovestrong

Keith has over a decade of experience in the field, counseling and coaching individuals, couples, teens and their parents to help them improve their relationships and their ability to achieve their personal goals. For the past seven years Keith has developed specific programs to help teens and their families achieve success in all facets of their lives that may have eluded them in the past. Academics, relationships, athletics, college preparation and applications, goal setting and developing specific plans are areas where working with Keith as a Coach can help young people set the patterns that promise a brilliant future. He works with couples to help them achieve the kind of relationship they envisioned when they first made their commitment to each other. Strengthening communication and revitalizing their understanding and empathy for each other helps couples regain the romance and closeness they long for – even in their everyday “real” world. Having a coach is like having a GPS for life. Keith can help you get a realistic picture of where you are and focus on the best path forward toward your goals. Unlike counseling, coaching focuses on the future, not the past.

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