Welcome to a new segment I call She Said/He Said. It’s an attempt to empower newly married couples by reading stories of couples that have persevered to remain married 20+ years. According to Divorce Magazine, first marriages on average last 7.9 years. If you have the opportunity to stay married to the same woman/man for over 20 years it should be celebrated. And if you want to reach this milestone, why not receive information from some of the masters.
In the second edition of She Said Vs. He Said I had the pleasure of interviewing Bryce York and Tonya York currently of Columbus Ohio. I met them at my church, several years ago. The are very warm people so I am not surprise why they came together, but let’s hear what HE SAID.
- What was the initial thing that attracted you to your wife/husband.
As a photographer, she caught my eye right away. I couldn’t help, but notice her beauty inside and out. She was flat out beautiful, and easy to talk to. I am amazed even to this day how I get caught up by her quirky, sweet, personality. It’s very infectious.
2. When was the moment that you can remember. He was the one you wanted to marry?
With me being 6 years older than she was, I pretty much knew right away that she was the one for me. She was a little thrown off by my easy going attitude, so it took her a little more time to be convinced. I am so glad that she did.
3. In your 20+ years of marriage what has surprised you the most about marriage?
It’s like working out, you when you are in the gym putting the work in, you feel great and you see the results of the work. The minute you drop off and get complacent, the results show as well. You don’t have the same energy and excitement. So in marriage you have to constantly work the communication, intimacy muscles to see the results. I also realized that I have to be the builder and protector of the relationship.
4. What are the three things that have helped you maintain your marriage longevity?
Prayer, Communication, and the ability to fall in love with each other over and over again by keeping the marriage fresh and exploring new things.
5. Knowing what you know now, would you have approached marriage in a different way early on? How?
I would have taken more control of the finances. Sometimes my laid back demeanor can be misinterpreted as not having an opinion. But as a man with a thinker’s temperament, I kept my thoughts internal. I definitely would have been more open with my communication style.
6. What are 3 things modern day couples should do in order to achieve longevity in their marriage.
Learn to understand the needs of your spouse
As a husband, serve your wife in such a way that it creates a long lasting bond.
Make sure that time is set aside with one another to continue to strengthen the relationship.