One of my favorite quotes from Wendy Williams is, “You miss a day, you miss a lot.” You know what’s profound about that statement? We apply it when we miss a great TV show, sporting event, a night out with our PEEPS, or some juicy gossip. Rarely do we apply it when it comes to “making love” to our spouse. We always figure, we can do that after the game, when the kids are sound asleep, or when I am not so tired and I feel sexier.
The thing is if you are waiting for the sexually charged energy to just appear, you will be waiting for a long time. It never happens that way, especially in marriage. Energy is created by ACTION. It may be awkward in the beginning, but once you generate energy it can increase in intensity.
So what can yo do to start to generate sexually charged energy that can lead to wonderful lovemaking.
Create an atmosphere of sex!
The intimate music isn’t going to suddenly come on the radio and lights aren’t going to dim to a romantic setting. Start with the simple things like :
- flirty tickling
- whispering, sweet romantic, or sexually explicity words (depending what your partner likes.)
Reframe your thinking – Quick can be Great.
You know in the movies when you see someone having a “quickie” it always seems so exciting, but when we think about it in real life it seems so boring and unfullfilling we don’t even make the attempt. Let’s change our way of thinking. It can be the very action that helps break the negative communication barrier between you and your spouse. Keep this in mind, it doesn’t always have to be about sex. It’s about creating a sexual connection. Some tips I reccomend are:
- Showering together
- Massage each other
- Finding a few minutes to make out before the kids wake up
- Dance to your favorite Slow Song or Wedding Song.
Create a Sexually Charged Plan.
Finally, we think of planning like a business meeting that we have to attend. If you hate planning anything, you will stay away from this idea. But, if you put some creativity into the planning it will excite your partner to take action. Some tips that will turn on the energy switch are:
- Send a nice invitation, RSVP required.
- Send an explicit text message (personal phone only)
- For the sport’s fan – creating a picture of you in your partner’s favorite jersey announcing the time of the game will surely get their attention.
If you have only a few minutes a day, JUST CONNECT. Before you know it, those few minutes will be the you will never MISS.